Another Way To Numb My Mind

H a p p y B i r t h d a y N E V S

2012-02-13T06:52:00.009+08:00

Happy 22nd birthday Nini Evo Vaizura Sazali! Congratulations for being alive. :D

First of all,I wanna thank everyone for the birthday wishes. I got 120 wishes on Facebook,31 wishes from Twitter and 5 text messages wishing me a happy birthday. Thank you all of you nice people on Earth!

I can't believe I turned 22 on Saturday.And you know what I did for my birthday?I went to the saloon and changed my hair style.Should I share it here?Hmm...I'll think about it.

I think as you get older,birthdays became nothing more than a reminder that you've aged which means,one step closer to your death.Yikes! But I don't want to think about that,at least for now.I just want to be grateful to God for giving me 22 years of life.That's a big number.And as I've said before,this year is going to be a drama-free life.I want to live a happy life for once.No pain,no heartache,no stress,no depression,no nothing.I've been through hell these past couple of years so please God merciful Lord,please please please make this year and the years to come better for me.Amen!

I got a cake this year.Didn't blow any candles though.Hahahaha...I got a blueberry cheesecake.Thank you mom and dad.The cake was absolutely delicious.I swear to God.It was purple and white.Oh,I don't have any picture of it because it was too delicious,I forgot to snap one.Haha.I love cheesecake!Oh,on a completely unrelated news,Liverpool lost 2-1 to Manchester United.Huhuhu.But Arsenal won against Sunderland 1-0.I am an Arsenal fan now.Go Gunners!

I'm not a fan of parties.Some people love to throw parties on their birthdays.But not me.Unless an intimate gathering with a very small number of people (less than 10) consist of only close friends is considered as a party.Because I don't do very well in crowds.Just lunch or dinner or just pizzas and movies.I'm good.What matters to me is just birthday wishes.I don't mind even if Facebook reminder is what made them wished me a happy birthday.Even a simple HB.I don't mind it at all.Well,unless we're pretty damn close.Haha!

Presents....Hmm... Presents are nice.I love presents.Everybody loves free stuff don't they?And I don't expect expensive presents.The simplest things would do.And for now I wish someone would give me a set of stationary.Hahaha.Because I kept losing my pens and eraser.I appreciate it when people give me things I could use compared to expensive things that are just for decorations.Pemadam dua puluh sen pun boleh.Hehehe.Wait,does it even cost that cheap these days?

The highlight of my birthday I think has to be reading all sorts of birthday wishes from everyone.Some just simply said HB.Others made it fun like Happy Nini Birthday.Got called by so many names too.Nini,Evo,Vaizura (wow all three!),Mrs J Andai,Mrs Azmie,Sus,Kak Nini,Awek J,Budak,Kawan,Pretty and so much more.All The Ulungs wished me in all different ways.One through Twitter,one through Facebook Chat,one made a Facebook status just for me and texted me too,one texted me and one wished me on Facebook and texted me too.The Ulungs,you guys are awesome!Thank you all again for those birthday wishes.Hehehe *90 degree bow*.

The boyfriend.I've never spent any of my birthdays since we're together in 2006 with him in flesh.We're always away from each other during my birthday.But its okay.I understand.Because in the future,I got to spend all my birthdays with him until the day I die. :) He made a countdown on the night of my birthday.We Skyped.And he sang me the birthday song. :) Ahhhh...Thank you sayang! He knows I love it when he sings for me.All I want for my birthday is Azmie and I got it,virtually.Alhamdulillah.Thank you God.That's the best birthday present a girl could ever wanted. :)

Thank you all for the birthday wishes.Its been a great 21 years of life.Now I'm going to add another one.I hope I'm always blessed. :) Till then,toodles~

p/s : Here's a photo of 22 years old me.

p/s : Azmie,I miss you so much!

O n R a i n y D a y s

2012-02-09T23:17:00.001+08:00

there are three things in this world that i find hard to understand.

one, people who pluck their eyebrows too thin.won't it be weird? I mean what's the point of plucking them out if you're just going to draw them back again?too much work don't you think?what's wrong with your God given eyebrows? I don't question this because I don't pluck mine.and I don't pluck mine not because I think mine's pretty.no they're hideous just like my face.but I'm a person who can't keep up,you know.emm...in other words,I can't maintain shit.its even a pain in the ass for me to maintain my hair let alone eyebrows. I think plucking eyebrows is too high maintenance.besides,I don't know how to do it.but seriously. I don't get it.why do it?wouldn't it look weird once the make up is off?hmm...

two, why is it that I feel that ALMOST ALL the kids these days want to grow up so fast.damn it. I'd trade my life with all of you.chill out kiddos.take your time.and don't let the world overwhelm you.

three, politics. I've tried so hard to make myself understand it.but I just can't.you want to know why?because one person said this and another person said something else.and we can't simply trust people these days can we?why?because we'll end up dead if we do.how can you trust a person who talks bad about another person?ahh this thing.I think I'm just too stupid to understand.I'm not ignorant.I tried but I just can't get it.

I think there's no such thing as freedom of speech anymore.everyone's so judgemental.but hey,I ain't even mad.peace out V

5 T h i n g s A b o u t M y s e l f

2012-02-05T16:33:00.004+08:00

Honestly I'm bored. So I'm going to make a blog post about myself. Because I'm a narcissist and I'm good at it. Hahahahaha... Just kidding. I hate almost everything about myself. Really.

일 - I AM SENSITIVE WHEN IT COMES TO MY SIZE.
I hate it when people mention anything about my size or make a reference to it. Even if their intentions were good. But I always find myself offended by it. And I've been hearing a lot of "Looks like you've gained a little weight" lately and it didn't come to my fondness. I blame winter. I've been eating like a monster since winter started. And since our house ran out of gas (back in Egypt),I had to order in almost everyday. And I tell you,Egyptian food does make you fat! I wanted to resort to eating instant noodles but my brain doesn't tolerate MSG very well these days and I was in need of every brain cells that I have for the exams. Eating too much instant noodles made me a little dumber than I should be. So kids,stay away from instant noodles during exams. Oh and I've been drinking too much coffee to help me stay up at night to study. Here's the thing about coffee,it contains caffeine,which can increase the hydrochloric acid in your stomach thus! stimulating the 'I Want To Eat' center in your brain's hypothalamus. In other words,my caffeine consuming habit caused me to feel hungry all the time and I can't simply ignore this hunger because I have a history of peptic ulcer and gastritis so I must eat. Therefore I had broken the ultimate rule of diet, DO NOT EAT ANYTHING AFTER MIDNIGHT and I paid the price for that. Here I am now. Fat and unhappy. :(

이 - I THINK I WANT TO BE A SPORTS DOCTOR.
This occurred to me at the day of my flight back to Malaysia. I was with my friends at the waiting hall at the airport. Suddenly someone brought this topic up. And I was like, "That's a brilliant idea.Why didn't I think of that?". I am a sports fan. Well I don't do much sports these days but I'm a sports fan. I watch football, badminton, wrestling and boxing. Trivia, I'm a Liverpool FC fan since I was like six? I don't know. Back when Michael Owen was still Liverpool's biggest star and David Beckham was Manchester United's diamond in a rough I guess. I've been thinking. Maybe I should apply for this kind of position somewhere in the future. And last Monday I watched WWE RAW and John Laurinaitis went to greet the doctor at the side,and I thought to myself "I want to be that doctor!". I'm still young and I still have a long way to go. One goal at a time. :)

삼 - JUST BECAUSE I AM A HUGE FAN OF KOREAN POP DOESN'T MEAN THAT I DON'T LISTEN TO OTHER GENRES IN MUSIC.
Pfft! B please, I listen to Metal even before you can differentiate between types of metal. Wait,that doesn't make any sense at all. (_ _") My point is,I listen to all kinds of music too. I'm a fan of Avenged Sevenfold,Queen,Lady Gaga and so much more. It's just that,I don't listen to Malay music. Oh and I HATE LOATHE Arab music. It sucks so bad. Not because 'I'm too hipster to listen to them' excuse,but because they are not of my interest. Everyone has that one kind of music that they don't like. Well same goes with me. I don't like Malay songs. So don't judge me for that. I only know the rock songs from the 80s & 90s because I was raised with those songs. When I was little,my late uncle always took care of us so that's why I know that kind of songs. But Malay songs these days... I can't even. But Anuar Zain's songs is an exception though. I like his songs. He is vocally talented and the lyrics are pure. Speaking about lyrics, Ebiet G.Ade,an Indonesian singer has the best lyrics ever. Well that's all I gotta say. JUST BECAUSE I AM A HUGE FAN OF KPOP DOESN'T MEAN THAT I DON'T LISTEN TO ANY OTHER MUSIC.Peace V

사 - I AM A FAN OF REALITY TV SHOWS.
Hola if you're the same. Yes I am a fan of American Idol, The Voice, America's Next Top Model, Junior Masterchef Australia, So You Think You Can Dance, KPOP Star, X-Factor, Amazing Race, The Challenger Muay Thai, The Biggest Loser and so much more you name it. I love the audition part of everything. And I love singing. Though I don't have a great voice. My perception of a great voice is when you can sing like Glee's Rachel Berry or have a tone voice like Scotty McCreery (I'm still not over his voice.Really).Voices that can make me go crazy inside and tears in my eyes. Honestly,I cried a little watching American Idol. Why don't we have voices like that here in Malaysia???

Pheww... This is harder than I thought. Just four and I'm already running out of ideas.

오 - I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT SOME MAKE UP ON.
Hahaha... This I consider this as a serious problem. The only thing I know how to put on is some eye liner. And I can't even do it properly! Smudge and all. Pfft... I was a tomboy back when I was a little girl. Growing up, I don't even own anything pink. I was more comfortable with T-shirt,pants and slippers as a kid. I was always mistaken for a boy too. A cute boy of course. And I can still do that up to this day. ;) Don't get me wrong. I would love to dress up like a woman. Well I have to since I'm turning 22 in less than a week! When I see other girls of my age post pictures of them on Facebook with make up on looking like a star,I'm like "Damn...What am I?". I can't go with 'Natural Beauty' excuse because hell I ain't pretty. Not even a little. But thank God,I have this wonderful man in my life who doesn't care if I put some make up on or not. Or even if I dress up like a homeless person,he'd love me for who I am. Guess that tops make up. Because some people look weird after all the make up is gone. Even the beautiful SNSD. But just to be clear,I have nothing against make up. And Azmie consider yourself a lucky man because you don't have to spend anything on make up for me,because good cosmetics are pretty expensive! Hehehe. But you have to spend some money for shoes though. Because I love shoes! :D But don't worry,I'm not a shopaholic. :) My love don't cost a thing baby ;)

The title of this post was supposed to be 10 Things About Myself but since I ran out of ideas about myself,I'm settling with just 5. Hahahahaha. I am talking to myself again. Oh by the way, I want to thank everyone who had been reading my blog for the past three or four years? I don't know. But thank you so much for reading my thoughts. I appreciate it so much. Although my blog isn't really a smart blog, thanks for reading it anyway. Have a blessed Sunday. Godspeed each and every soul reading this post right now. L'chaim! :)

p/s : Azmie, I love you & I miss you. :)

G i r l P o w e r

2012-02-03T02:35:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone! 안녕하세요! Before you continue to read this post,I must warn you that this post is specially made for Girls Generation.So if you're not a fan of KPOP or you're not a fan of Girls Generation,well that's not my problem now doesn't it? Anyways,enjoy~

So Girls Generation was invited to two shows in America recently.And I'm a fan of American talk shows so I know these shows.They performed on The Late Show with David Letterman on January 31st 2012 and then on LIVE! With Kelly on February 1st 2012.Well honestly,I liked it more when they performed at LIVE! With Kelly.Because crowd chants was allowed and the fact that Kelly even interviewed them afterwards.And also...I get to hear Tiffany speaks English! Hehehehe... Well Tiffany's my favorite GG okay. ;p

And so... I'm lost for words here so I'm just gonna share the videos of their performances courtesy of the people who uploaded them on Youtube and ABC & CBS.Whoever I gotta thank and give credits to so I won't get sued by SOPA or PIPA.LOL...Here goes!

This is from The Late Show with David Letterman.

This is from LIVE! With Kelly.Thank you Kelly Ripa for treating our girls nicely.Thank you so much. :)

Thank you for treating them girls nicely. 감사합니다. :)

And I'm ma share some Girls Generation or in Hangul Soo Nyuh Shi Dae 소녀시대 photos.These are my personal favourites actually.And credits to the owner.

This is from GENIE Tell Me Your Wish.I seriously love this because they showed legs and legs and more legs! Their legs are to die for.Perfectly toned and pretty.I love Yoona & Jessica's hair in this.Perfect look for them.And I love the fact that Taeyeon's hair is long here.She looked stunning.

This is from GEE.Again because they emphasize on the legs.Hehehe...I love Seohyun's hair and look here.Perfect for her.Sunny's hair...Mehh...Not very much.Tiffany looked like a Japanese doll here. 너무좋아해! :D

This is from MR TAXI.I love it because Tiffany.Look at Tiffany.That dark black hair with fiery red lips.This is perfection at its best.And I love Sunny's hair like that.Sunny keep your hair short.You look adorable! :D

And last but not least,this is probably my personal favourite.From HOOT.Tiffany,you're amazing just the way you are.Damn...And I like Yoona's look too.Perfect.But the best look has to be the maknae,Seohyun.If you watched the MV,Seohyun looked the best when they wore the gold jumpsuit.With her hair like that,part at the center and curled.Perfect!Perfect for her.Hehehehe...

Okay here's my rank from my favourite GG to my least favourite GG.

Tiffany > Sunny > Seohyun > Jessica = Yuri = Taeyeon = Yoona = Sooyoung = Hyoyeon.

I'm just playing.I love all of them.I don't have any least favorite GG. :D

Well that's all for today.Have a great day. :) Bye bye.

p/s : Happy birthday to Cho Kyuhyun (Super Junior) & Victoria Song (F(x))

F a b u l o u s F e b r u a r y

2012-02-02T01:25:00.005+08:00

*what a gay title*

Hello everybody.This is my first official post from my bedroom in Keningau,Sabah,Malaysia! Muahahahahaha. Yes I'm back to the lab again yo.Winter break for a month.Actually my holiday was for only two weeks but what the heck.Everything's good so far.I haven't been outta the house since I came back.Well,I've been to the backyard but that doesn't count,does it?

The great part of my holiday was I get to meet the person I missed the most! Azmie! :D It was the happiest day of my life.Though I didn't get to spend time with him as much as I wanted,still...I'm very happy.And as always,parting with him was the hardest part.Haihhh...Why can't I go to Perak with you sayang!I would've been happier if I did. :'(

He took me to meet his friends/housemates from UTP for the very first time.All this time,I know them just by names.They're friends with me on Facebook and some are friends with me on Twitter.And so my first impression was,"They looked exactly like in their pictures".Well,some people looked different in photos and in real life.Some looked good on photos but not in real life while others are the opposite of that.I told Azmie that I'm scared.That I think I'm gonna screw up or say something weird.Or probably act weird.But I didn't.Because I barely spoke a word to them.Oh,the people I met was Acap,Waktang,Spon & Zaki.A good looking bunch but already taken.Sorry ladies.Hehe.

So we played some pool,which I suck so bad at.But Azmie oversold me.He told them I played very well.Which wasn't true.Or maybe because I was scared.I don't know.But the sweetest thing was when Azmie bragged that he started playing pool because of me,he watched football because of me and he was into wrestling because of me,to them.That's why I love my sweet pumpkin cherry pie,my Azmie J Andai. :) Honestly,I'm a bit worried at first that he would treat me differently in front of his friends,BUT HE DIDN'T! I'm so happy.Both Azmie & me,we love PDAs but we don't do it excessively.But even in front of his friends,he's the same. (I'm marrying this man!) I had a good time.His friends were entertaining.I wanted to talk to them but I can't seem to open my mouth.I became mute.The words are in my head but I can't get my mouth to say it.So I ended up just smiling,laughing and making weird facial expressions. (_ _) I hope his friends won't take me as weird.And I finally understood why he loves hanging out with them so much.They're cool people.A lil bit crazy but very nice.And funny.I'm so happy that Azmie's friends are good people like that. :)

We wen't on a double date with his friend Spon the next day.Spon brought his girlfriend Ainin (I hope the spelling is right) and she was very nice.Adorable too.Lovely.Hehe.I made Azmie wore my cat snowcap and I wore a panda snowcap.Hehehehehehe.We went to see The Viral Factor starring Jay Chou & Nicholas Tse.The movie was shot in Malaysia.I'll give it 2/3 lah.Good movie.Very multilingual.You can hear Mandarin,Cantonese,Malay & English all throughout the movie.But the ending was...Mehh...The double date was nice.And I learned some truth after that day.Hehehehehehehehehe... :p

Yesterday I climbed up the rambutan tree to get some rambutans for Ayie.Today I climbed the gate to get some rambutans for him.My lil tot.He's a big boy now.And smart too.And very polite.He'll say "Please jie jie" if he wants something and when I ignore him he'll say "Please please pleaseeeeee".Aahh that lil tot.How can I say no when he's like that.And he'll say "Thank you jie jie" after he get what he wanted.He's my only friend at home now.And I got Azmie taking care of me from afar.I'm blessed.Thank You God :) So I guess that's it for now.Oh,I forgot,Sheamus won WWE Royal Rumble 2012.Randy Orton is back.Undertaker has challenged Triple H for another match in Wrestlemania 28 (I don't know how to write them in Roman characters),but that's still inofficial.That's all.Adios!

Three Down and One More to Go!

2012-01-21T23:40:00.001+08:00

The title speaks for itself.
One more paper to go.
Microbiology.
My worst nightmare.
Bring it on!

Pray for me lads. Thank you.

p/s : I miss my brother Ayie.

p/s : I'm sorry mom and dad for not excelling the exams.

p/s : I love you Azmie J Andai.

Bye.

2012-01-16T07:56:00.001+08:00

Hello. No I'm not dead. I've just been very busy with school lately.
Honestly,I think my head is going to explode anytime soon. So many
things to learn,so little time. Just finished two subjects by the way.
Pathology and Parasitology. And I guess I pretty much screwed both.
Haihh.. Anyways,I'm going back to Malaysia next week. A little
psyched. Hmm hmm. I've been very well. My roomate moved to a new
house. I basically have the room for myself right now because my other
two roomates prefer the biggest room in the house,the living room.
Privacy is a privilage right now. Hehehe. Its very cold here. And
after three years,I finally surrendered to winter. I bought a heater
and named him Heath. Yeah I know pretty childish for someone of my
age. Speaking of which,I'm turning 22 this year! I cannot believe
this. Neither do you I supposed. Well, I guess that's all from me. I'm
off to my beautiful NEVerland. Have a good day humans. Assa!

p/s : I love Azmie J Andai.

Hello from Hell

2011-11-28T08:49:00.001+08:00

Hello everyone. It's been a long time but I'm back in town. Things had
been really weird lately. I miss home but I guess there's nothing much
to miss there is it now.
Life's like this. Never better. Never tried to be. I don't know. I
haven't found any purpose to live. Oh accept for one,Azmie. I'm living
for that man right now. He is all I have left in this cruel miserable
world. I tried asking from upstairs but He's not answering at the
moment. So... Anyways.
Egypt is a little messed up right now. So as my head. But everyone can
relax a bit. We're doing just fine here,for now. As I said before,as
long as we still have megi ayam,we're good. But honestly. Tahrir,no
kidding,its a mess out there. Other places I don't know. But we're in
good hands for now. Everyone's prepared this time around and we're
like soldiers. No joke. Information travels fast these days. Some are
true others are bluffs or just exaggerations. For now,we're good.
Class are cancelled. A bad good thing I guess. As for safety,yeah
well,lets say its a gamble. I don't go out much except for classes
since the turmoil started so I don't exactly know what's going on out
there. But that's just me.
My point is,we're okay. Parent's shouldn't panic. For now. But when I
say panic,yes panic.
That is all for now. Time for me to sleep. Good night Africa,Europe &
United Kingdom.Good morning Asia.Good day to all that's in between.
Sayonara.

p/s : I miss you Azmie J Andai.

p/s : I miss Ayie.

I Hate Egypt and You Know It

2011-11-09T07:04:00.001+08:00

Just got back from a tiring and less interesting day in Alexandria.Hmm... I'm going back to Cairo tomorrow.I don't know what I feel anymore.I don't feel like leaving because I hate Cairo but I don't wanna stay either because I hate Egyptians.But one thing is for sure.I'm not stepping my foot on Makmurah Beach anytime soon!

We went there for two days.The day before yesterday and today.I had the worst experience ever.Here's what happened...

See that thing on my head?That thing is cursed!

I wore that to the beach on the first day.Wore that and the hipster glasses my sayang Azmie bought for me.Guess what.Apparently those things attract Egyptians like magnets.I rode a bike with my friends along the beautiful beach of Alexandria.All I wanted was to get some peaceful vacation with my friends but noooo.Those damn Egyptians had to ruin that.At first I was trying to be polite,waving back and saying hello if they greet me.But they took it as a sign that I want to communicate with them.So in the end I ended up getting harassed by groups of Egyptians.I manage to run away after my friend asked me to run first.I cycled as fast as I could.And I thought after those group of people gone,we can finally ride our bikes in peace.But noooo...As I cycle through the tempat jalan kaki (malas mau fikir apa dalam English),an Egyptian tried to touch me and he manage to touch my hoodie.I was shocked because he was aiming for my face.Stupid darn moron!

Finally we found a place to rest.So we kasi sandar our bikes and tried to enjoy the view of the sea in peace.But nooo...Some kid came to bug us.They caught us because they saw that thing I wore on my head.I put my hoodie on but still they came.A kid even went in front of me to look at my face to make sure I was the one they're looking for.Freaking sick!And just then I saw a shadow of a hand heading towards my head.I quickly stood up and went closer to the ledge.I didn't even dare to turn around because I was scared.There were six of us there,all girls.But they won't even budge.I was scared as hell.I gathered my courage and made the scariest facial expression I could ever make and then turned around.I look at the idiot culprit and asked in him rudely "Apa bha kau mau ni ah?Sial.Apa kau mau ni?".But my friends stopped me.They said "Nini jangan kau layan.Biar seja dorang.Marilah kita pulang".Honest to God I clenched my fist hard and was ready to punch.Nasib kau boi.Nasib...Kalau inda picah kepalamu itu.His face was really one punch away from me.I still regret that I didn't took the blow.I should've done it.Should've punched that hideous creature.Dia letak tangan dia atas kerusi bekas saya duduk lagi tu.Syaitan...My friend told me that they wanted to take pictures with me or something like that.I'm not sure.I'm sure something came outta their disgusting mouth but unfortunately,I don't speak stupid.

Today we went to the same beach again.I was cautious this time.But things turned out way worst than I thought.But before that.I'm gonna tell you about my journey today.It's interesting.I promise.

So we went to the Teffal factory today.The prices of Teffal cooking set was way more cheap than one's we have in Malaysia,according to my friend.One huge Teffal cooking pot will cost you RM200++ in Malaysia.But here it'll only cost you LE200++.Convert it yourself lah.Malas saya mau convert.Hahaha.I saw this one Teffal cooking set that really caught my attention.I won't mention the price though.But it consist of 5 pieces of pot and pan,with 3 sudip.Natau Englishnya apa.I thought of buying one set for my mum and maybe one set for Azmie's mum.Hehehehe...Nantilah sebelum balik Malaysia time summer Insya Allah.It's cheaper here lah yang pasti.I guess...

After spending almost an hour in around frying pans and pots,we went to eat at Pizza Queen.Just 2 minute walk from Rumah Sabah Iskandariah (Alexandria).The food was okay but the view was breathtaking.It was facing the sea.Very beautiful! After that we head back to change for another trip to the beach.But the traffic was awful.The cars were not even moving.So we decided to find another nearby spot to mandi manda di laut.Because just across the street from Pizza Queen was the beach.7 minute walk from Rumah Sabah.We walked for almost fifteen minute just to find a spot but they were lots of Egyptians everywhere.I don't know why but it seems like everyone went out today.Then suddenly Ayu suggested that we should just take a boat to a place called.... I forgot the name of that place.Yang penting sebelum pegi Makmurah,kena pegi sana dulu la.Mandarah?Man man something lah.Then Yaya & Kak Pidah pegi tanya tu boatman if he could take us there.He agreed.But I wasn't sure because there was only six of us,all girls.I was afraid that the boatman would kidnap us or do something bad to us.So finally we decided to call Hadi and asked him to follow us.We even asked him to bring a knife in case we need it to protect ourselves whilst on the boat.So in the end,we took a boat to Man...Man..something tu.No life jacket.No helmets.Just balls.I mean.Guts and glory.Yes it was crazy because we were on the Mediterannean sea.You know the water is deep because it was dark green.With no life jacket on.With a boatman who we don't trust.And he doesn't trust us either.We said we'll pay after we reach the shore but he didn't believe us.In the end he followed us.Basically,we were gambling with our lives there and then.But thank God we arrived safely at the shore of Man~~.The boatman acknowledged us as Koreans to his fellow boatmen at the shore.

Long story short.We took the big bus to Makmurah and Ezat almost fell off the bus.After our trip to the beach,we had to meet up with Tan,Itt and Jo at Fathallah?So we ride a tut-tut.I don't know any other names for that thing but I know in Thailand they called it tut-tut.Taxi bikes.Google it lah senang.After that,we walked until we reached the shore we landed on earlier.No,not Jersey Shore.Sorry Snooks.We saw horse-drawn carriages on the street.Someone came up with the idea that we should ride that to go back home.We all agreed.At first the ammu (Uncle) said he would take us to Miami for 40LE.But we refused and walked away.Suddenly Dina yelled at us.We came back,he offered 25LE.Two carriages,5 person each.And I get to sit next to the driver...Err...I don't know what is the name for people who drive this things.So as we go,I kept on waving at random people on the streets.And greeting them with "Annyeong haseyo".LOL.We hit the spotlight there and then.Everyone stared at us.As I was waving at random people,I accidentally waved at a group of Malaysian guys sitting at a bench.Untuk cover malu,I waved at them dengan penuh semangat.They were shocked but they smiled and waved back anyways.It was fun.I never rode a horse-drawn carriage before in my life.But I felt sorry for the horse.Banyak kali kaki dia tesadung.Kesian.And when people honk,he was surprised too.Kesian.Oh,on our way home,ada limpas satu taxi ni.Saya perasan bonet dia tebuka.Sekali ada orang dalam bonet duduk sana.Epic!Lepas tu kami belimpas sama ada satu lori kecil bawa orang di belakang.Tu perempuan bilang mari la naik sini sama dia.LOL No thanks aunty.Siok-siok sudah saya naik kuda ni.We get to see the beautiful beach while riding a carriage.Very princessy~ Where can you find that experience in 25LE?Bak kata Yaya "Hari ni Hari Pengangkutan".

We rent bicycles for 2 hours.We got it for 15LE.Mine was a little bit higher than the one I rode the other day.My foot couldn't reach the ground.I had to ketinting.That's how short I am. :( So we went to the beach with bikes to find a perfect spot to take a dip.Except for me though.I can't swim.I can't even go into the water.I might attract sharks with my blood.If you know what I mean.So as I said earlier.I was more cautious this time around because of what happened the other day.I didn't even wear that thing on my head.But I dressed nicely though.Covered from head to toe.Hey that rhymes.Anyways.My shirt was loose and long.So as my jeans.I had my tudung nicely.As safety precaution.And I thought that would make me unnoticeable.But noooo....I was harassed again.And the harassing went a bit far this time.

We stopped to discuss mana mau hang out.I was next to Dina.As we were talking suddenly I felt someone kicked the back tyre of my bicycle.Because my foot was barely on the ground,I fell.And I shouted in shocked "P******!S*** juga!@#%$%$^%$%^".They asked me what happened "Tu budak kecil pi tendang basikal aku!".And suddenly another kid walked pass through me and said something in Arabic whilst laughing.I was pissed and we ride our bikes further away.Suddenly Yaya screamed "Oi!Apa ni" (something like that lah).Some dude threw his cigarette bud at her just like that.We stopped at very far spot and decided that we should call Hadi.We thought that maybe if a guy was around us,those idiotic Egyptians won't bug us.I was pissed,I threw my bike...as in hempas my bike in front of an Egyptian couple.They stared at me like I'm some kinda freak.Stupid people.You guys are the freaks!I was breathing heavily because I was really angry.After that we all went to fetch Hadi.He rode a buggy.But even before we got back to the cycling path,we were harassed again.This time it was Ezat.There was a group of guys tried to say hello to her.She ignored it and there's this one asshole went to kick her tyre.Hadi speeds up to catch up on her but ended up getting harassed by those kids too.Hadi is huge but the problem is he was out numbered.

So we went back to the beach.And this time we stuck close to each other.It was good at the beginning but then I got separated just by a second.I was trying to speed up through a line of Egyptian women and then suddenly an Egyptian idiot meluru ke arah saya and touched my thigh.I screamed "K****!!!Dia pegang p***** aku!!!".At first I thought it was my butt.I panicked and went into tears.I cried because I was so scared.I had a terrible experience before so I was kinda traumatized.We stopped and I cried and cried.I cursed.I screamed.I yelled "Stupid Egyptians!".I panicked.After that we decided that we should get out of that place.On our way out,terpaksa limpas ada satu kawasan.Budak-budak merempit.Tapi pakai basikal sama motor kecil.Weird losers.Then ada saturang budak ni,dia pegi sengaja mau melanggar.Terus dia angkat tayar depan basikal dia mau kasi kena saya.Then dia buat lagi mau kasi kena muka Dina.Cepat-cepat kami lari dari sana.Tapi dia kejar juga balik.Ni kali kami ketepi sekejap and then subconciously I yelled "Your mom is a b****!".I feel bad right now for saying such thing.I was so angry.I'm sorry stupid boy.But your mom is really unlucky to have a kid of your manner.After struggling to get out of that hell,we manage to get out in one piece.Hmm...The rest as they say was history.Well,I pretty much told everything already.Now I'm off to bed.I'm still traumatized and shock.Parents out there.Whatever you do,don't send you kids to Egypt.It's a dangerous world here.Only the strongest can survive the wrath of Pharoah and his idiotic people.Sayonara bye bye.

p/s : I honestly think someone brought this bad luck here with them.

p/s 2 : I'm sorry if I sounded narcissistic.All of us were harassed but I had the worst.

Raya Di Perantauan

2011-11-08T04:32:00.001+08:00

Hello from wasteland!

How's everybody doing?Yaa...This is the third day I'm in Alexandria,Egypt.Habis sudah tempoh boleh solat Jamak & Qasar.Huhuhu... Anyways.I'm having a great time here,if I minus the problematic Egyptians.What can I do for them,I don't even know.Well, here's how my days went.

The day after we arrived, we went to a place called City Center.Its a mall actually.A big one.No...A very long mall.As soon as we stepped into the mall,guess what we saw! Centre Point.I kid you not! Sabahan knows what is this Centre Point I'm talking about.Hahahaha... Damn I saw Centre Point in Egypt!

Told you I wasn't kidding.Hahaha...After an hour pusing-pusing CP and the mall,we head to the place called Barbeque for break fasting.

The food was good.And the service was good.I was stuffed! I ate a lot because later that night we're going to play some games! :D Here's another photo of us there.Oh,we did took photos with the waiter.I don't know why but it seems like Egyptian waiters love getting their pictures taken.Especially with the customers.But I don't have a photo of us with the waiter.We didn't even get his name.Haha

So after the meal,with stuffed stomach, we went to a place called Green Plaza (I guess?). The place was very similar to The Curve.But ours are way better lah of course.Hehehe... What did we do there?Oh yeah...We played go-kart! Hahahaha.I played three rounds.One round 3 laps for 15LE (there goes my one week worth of lunch money).It was fun but I kept getting #2 in the race.Grrr~ Nevermind.I'll be better next time.After that,we played paintball.The paintball arena was right next to the go-kart err...joint?So the eight of us went there.My team mates was Yaya,Dina & Dina's friend Hadi.The other team consist of Ezat,Kak Pidah,Dina's friends Ayu & Kiki.It was 50LE for 50 bullets.Cheap! But then again,there goes my money for food worth a month.Huhu...

With our army suit.Moms and dads,don't panic! The government didn't send us here to fight a war.This is our paintball uniform.Hehehe...But we do look like we're soldiers right? Hehehehehe...

Funny thing happened at the paintball arena.The owner suddenly grabbed his DSLR and asked if he could take pictures of us for his company's website.LOL.Yes like seriously.He asked us to model for the company.So we took pictures with their company's banner.I caught a glimpse at the company's banner and saw www.tedry.com.LOL.Go check it out.Our faces might be featured there. :D

I don't know who won the paintball game but I didn't get hit at all.But I ran outta bullet.Pfft! It was fun but I injured my knee whilst trying to bend.Trip askar kan.Kotoh...Hahahaha...But it was fun fun fun! Then we went to play at the kid's theme park.I played the swing and bungee.I kid you not when I say I screamed like a little girl!Oh wait. I am a littel girl.I screamed so loud while doing the bungee thing.And I made 3 backflips! Oh yeahhh... I am so proud of myself.Hahahah!

That's me on the swing!

So we went home that night,sore and happy.I guess.Hahahahaha...

The next day was Eid Adha.We went down to surau to eat.The food was extremely delicious.We had black pepper meat and ayam masak madu.Sedaaaaaaaaaap gila!I was stuffed again.And we took some pictures as well.Boleh la masuk salam perantau tapi nda sempat hantar.Simpan untuk raya tahun depan lah.Hehehehehe :D

Depan Rumah Yayasan Sabah Alexandria.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha daripada kami pelajar Perubatan,

daripada Sabah,Malaysia di Egypt. :)

Lepas puas-puas makan and tengok movie di laptop.Kami pegi pantai.Lupa sudah nama pantai tu.Makmurah ka?Hantam sajalah.Yang penting boleh naik-naik basikal.Sana lah kejadian yang tidak diingini berlaku...

Ini lah pantainyaaaa...Cantik kan?

Jap,ada ka orang sambut raya haji di pantai?Hahahaha.... Kami lah tu. :D Kami sewa basikal lepas tu kena jalan jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauh gila baru jumpa tu pantai.Nasib baik naik basikal.Tapi sakit juga la kaki mengayuh.Punah sudah harapan mau ikut Le Tour de Langkawi.Tapun tapun.Hehehe... So kami mengayuh sampailah kami sampai pi pantai.Tapi yang sedihnya...Bila kami sampai di pantai,pantai tu mau tutup sudah.Nda boleh masuk. :( Jam 530 petang tutup sudah sebab malam dia jadi cafe.Sedih kan?Arab ni memang palui.Hahaha

Tapi oleh sebab dorang pandai memujuk tu lifeguard,lifeguard tu pun bagilah kami masuk untuk bergambar seja.Jadi begambar la kami ni berabis.

Aaaa....Malas pula mau cerita kejadian di pantai.Saya mau tingu Family Outing.Hahahahaha...Next time la saya cerita.Bye bye! Salam perantau. :)

I'm being a vain. 하하하~

2011-11-05T17:33:00.000+08:00

안녕안녕!잘지내요? 예,그름... 가자!

소 히엘아이암인 Alexandria,Egypt.디스 펠레스잇나이스. 진짜 좋아해~ 아이 위스아이쿠드세대롱게.아임 녿으 테라이잉투비애젝라이팅라에익디스. 죄송해요내사랑이한국사람. 내가여러분좋아해.짱! (^_^)

Hehehehehe...I bet you people didn't understand crap of what I've just said.If you do,then there's probably something wrong with you too~ ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I am now in Alexandria Egypt as I mentioned before.I'll be spending my Eid Adha holidays here.The place is b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l! Yes,its been three years and this is the first time I've ever stepped foot on this part of Egypt.Not because I don't travel a lot.But because I don't have time to travel.The only reason why this place seems to be beautiful is because of the ocean.I love oceans.I love the beach.Hence,the jakun attitude.Because we don't have beaches in Cairo.Bitches we have.Beaches nada.They barely even have a river.Although Alexandria is a very beautiful place,it is still Egypt,so the people are kinda suck too.But more civilised than the one's we have in Cairo.

Oh,I came here with my friends, Ezat, Yaya, Dina, Kak Pida, Dina's friend Ayu, Ogel, Venney, Ipah and Lili.We stayed in Rumah Sabah Iskandariah but in different aparments.We got the empty one.It was nice.Nicer than one's we have in Cairo.Alexandria 3,Cairo 0. ㅜㅜ~ We took a train from Ramses at 1430 hours yesterday.The journey was approximately 3 hours.Lemme tell you a story about the train.Six of us,was in koc 8.And honest to God,it was the worst train I've ever rode in my entire life.I bet KTM is not even this bad.The seat was torned and old.Very old.The smell.God...Hancing,bau tai bau ketiak bau kaki.You name it.I was on the isle seat,'lucky' me.There was this man,he walked pass through me and I swear to God,he smelled like poop.Human poop!And right after he walked pass by I saw him pulling his pants out of his butt.I kid you not people.Seriously.

This is my story.I don't have problems with uncivilisation.My problem is when civilised things became uncivilised by some irresponsible people,and not uncivilised people.I don't have problems if there's no electricity because they don't have a generator.The problem is when they have a generator but they use the electricity in an uncivilised manner.I don't mind if the train is old,but please,at least take a good care of its condition.

I tried to sleep throughout the journey.I managed to sleep only an hour after the train departs.So I had to endure the 'magic' for almost two and a half hour.And the little kids,sitting on the seats across me kept touching my hands.I don't really like physical contacts to begin with,let alone with strangers.

But in the end,we made it here and today we're off doing crazy things.Things you would never imagine us doing.Hahahaha.Just kidding.Today I'm fasting.Sempena hari Arafah.So no physical activity during the day.

오캐닽이스올르.아이홒프애베리와은앤조이에읻디스하드투릳 포스트.ㅋㅋㅋㅋ~

볘볘~ (^_^)v

Saya sayang Azmie saya

2011-10-19T04:49:00.001+08:00

Post ini ditujukan khas buat lelaki kesayangan saya...Namanya Muhammad Azmie J Andai.

Selamat hari lahir yang ke 22 sayang.Nda sama sudah umur kita.Huhuhu...Nda apa.Dalam masa 4 bulan lagi nini kejar juga umur mimi tu.Hehehe...I'm so glad I get to celebrate it with you.Eventhough the celebration wasn't much.I didn't came prepared,I hope I made you happy.I wish the best in everything you do.May God bless you with the strength of heart,mind and soul.Semoga semakin comel setiap hari.Sebab Azmieku memang comel sudah kan.So semoga makin bertambah kecomelannya.Hehehe...Terutamanya senyuman Azmie tu. :)

You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.I'm glad and honoured to have called you mine all these years.You are the most wonderful person I've ever met in my life.Semoga makin meningkat umur,makin wise.I love you sayang.I'll stand by you no matter what happens.I love you.Jaga diri baik-baik aa.Nini saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayang Mimi. :) I love you sayang.

Happy birthday my love.

Then again,maybe not

2011-10-15T12:42:00.001+08:00

This is my last post from home.Home...huh.What a strong word.Hmm... Well,I guess this is goodbye summer vacation for me.I'll be coming home in four months.Ah!That strong word again.Home. I'll be back in the winter.But I'm not gonna be home. I'll be somewhere else.

Blog is blog.I feel sorry for my blog because of the abandonment issue.I have a lot of things going through my mind right now.But things that aren't supposed to be shared publicly.Hmm... I'm worried about so many things lately.My life, my future, and so so.Hmm... 'Life is bigger'.The song Losing My Religion by REM kinda stuck my head right now.I don't know.Hmm... 'Oh no I've said too much'.

I would probably update my blog more often later.Because I now know how to do email-blogging.Haha. Thank you blogspot.So watch out for me very soon.I'll be telling you guys what I've been doing all day in Egypt.Sorta...

I haven't finish with my luggage though.I don't know what else to put in.Because my head is somewhere else right now.Hmm... I'm thinking too much.Maybe because I'm scared.I don't know. I had a dream that the aiport was bombed and I died.And I can't seem to get it outta my mind.Because the day after I had those dreams,which happened more than once, I read on the news about the death of Weezer's ex-bassist.He even tweeted about it.He dreamt about dying in Chicago.And he did died there.Hmm... I didn't tell my parents about it.I hope it's just a dream.Meaningless dream.What worries me the most is not about myself.It's because I had another recurring dream about Azmie.He died.And...That's what I'm terrified the most right now.Hmm... Dream is just a dream.

Today is my mum's birthday by the way.Happy birthday mummy! I hope you have a great life and great health mum. I love you.

I think I should go back to packing now before my parents gets home.But I'm lost.Really.I have so many things in mind.And I'm not feeling very well lately.I'm worried because I have to travel and I'm travelling alone.Hmm... Thank God Jeddah Airport is small.Like seriously small... Hmm... Pray for my safe flight everyone!

Take care. Goodbye Liawan, goodbye Keningau, goodbye Tawau, goodbye Kota Kinabalu, goodbye Sabah. Goodbye Malaysia.

p/s : I'm gonna miss you so much Azmie J Andai. :(

Dear God

2011-10-13T10:37:00.001+08:00

please help me.

Not exactly a smart post.

2011-10-06T11:52:00.001+08:00

Straight and not a homophobic.
Sports.
My boyfriend,Azmie J Andai.
Center Point,March 25th 2006.With Azmie J Andai :)
My self-esteem is like...non-existence.
They know who they are.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky.
Chest hair.
She's like a sister I never had.
Catdog.
Refer answer No.3
He played for the other team.Literally.He went to play for Chelsea.LOL.Never had any breakups before.
Rest all day.Help my dad cook.It was his birthday.
I sang Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody without cracking my voice.
They annoyed me.
Sixth Sense and Neverland.
Perfect.
Teeth.I could stare at his all day.
Cats,hamsters,white mice,bird,chicken,boa python and geckos.
Macadamian Nut Brittle and Mint Chocolate Chips.
Beside (refer answer #3)
Too hurtful to recall.
Never moved.But I'm currently residing in Egypt until my ~~Visa~~ study ends.
... You are (refer answer #3)
Finish medic school with a degree,get married to (refer answer #3),work as a government servant for as long as they won't cancel pensions,volunteer with the UN,make money as much as I could and die in peace.
To be or not to be.
Have my wisdom tooth pull out.Minor Oral Surgery.
Someone better and dependable.
Accidentally got into a teacher's car because I thought it was my dad's car.He said his friend will pick me up.I thought it was his friend.This happened back in 1998.
Everything about myself and what people thought about me.
Keep the money for the future.
He's not perfect.But I love him anyways.He is my kind of perfect.
I know how to love someone.
People who cuts on queue.
Paramore.Well,not exactly saw them performing live,more like met them at the airport on a coincidence together with (refer answer #3).Hehehehe.
Refer answer #6.
None.Emm...But if I have to,maybe one.Maximum two.
As long as I'm with (refer answer #3).
Being a pain on the butt.Hahaha.Just kidding.I don't know what I'm good at.Hmm...perhaps loving someone with all my heart.
I don't wanna recall any of it.
I can live anywhere as long as I'm with (refer answer #3).But if I had to choose,I wanna live somewhere in Wales.
"You are my happiness"
No.
The sound of the fan.
...
Refer to answer #19
My future.
To be with (refer answer #3) all the time.
Good.
Lack of self esteem.
"I don't think I can survive Egypt.Can I just continue with Matrix and stay here?"
Its from (refer answer #3) so I don't think I wanna share it here.In public.
My brain who stop thinking and my heart who wont stop aching.
Everything about (Refer answer #3)
Fat.
I couldn't care less.

WARNING : This Might Be Offensive

2011-09-28T14:43:00.006+08:00

I was going to post about something...wait...lemme see if I can remember....wait...what was it that I wanna talk about?Oh yeah.I remember now!

Well,welcome to my blog.This is a place where I rant a lot.Yes.A lot.But I haven't had time to do so in a while. I don't really know what I've been doing but I'm just making myself busy... with... (no)things.Hahahahaha.

Has anyone ever asked you things like "Ko kazen dengan dia?Tapi dia bukan Islam" kind of questions?Yeah.I have.And questions like "Ko sambut Christmas?Ko sambut Chinese New Year?".Or "Kenapa nama ko Nini Evo Vaizura?Nda Nur ka Siti ka?".Guess what,I get that all the time.Well not all the time.But I mean most of the time.

I remember this incident back when I was still in Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan.I've been getting along very well with this one girl.She was from Sekolah Menengah Agama Inanam or SMAI for short.She was very nice and friendly.I don't really know how to socialize but hey she's nice so I gave it a shot.For a month or so we were friendly to each other.Like we've known each other for a very long time.It was a big deal for me because she's from sekolah agama and she treated me very nice.I didn't wear tudung back in Matriks days.I'm not saying that people from sekolah agama treats me badly(Oh yes they do),well...hahahahaha.Okay back to my story.One day,we had a co-curriculum activity.I don't remember what it was but we had to gather around according to our classes.And she was in the same class as Ezat.I was 26,they were 25.So we kinda make a small group together and chit chat.The usual.Like all girls would do.I was plugging my ears at that time listening to songs on my MP3/phone.My phone back then was SAMSUNG UltraMusic.Yeah..The one Beyonce had.Hahahaha.She asked me "Nini,tengok phone ko kejap".I hand it to her."Tengok lagu-lagu ko","Bha" I replied.Suddenly she grabbed me by the shoulder and asked me with her eyes wide open "Ee..ko dengar Yassin juga?".And I swear I made a 'whaaaaaaat?' face and replied "Napa?Nda bole ka?".And she tapped me in the shoulders."Ko muslim ka pula???".I'm like whaaaaaaat?We've been friends for a month now and you don't know I'm a muslim?I don't blame her though.I don't appear like one.But hey!Saya rajin bha pi solat Subuh di musollah everyday time orientasi and on weekends with my friend Ain...For the first one month.Jauh bha tu musollah dari saya punya hostel.Nehh...But seriously though.Don't I look a bit like a muslim?Sikit pun?Haish...Biarlah!Just hope people won't serve me beer or pork in the future.Hahahaha.

And ada lagi satu cerita time baru masuk MRSM.Boleh-boleh my roomate thought I was playing a joke pakai tudung.Whaaaaat?She saw my name on my tudung 'Nini Evo' so she assumed I was making fun of Muslims.Oh Lord.My point is...Don't just simply judge somebody by how they look on the outside.Well at least for their religion.And I came across comments on photos in Facebook saying "You look like a Muslim here" to a non-Muslim kid.Hmm...Read this one word at a time...Slowly...How would you expect someone to reply to that kind of a comment?I mean seriously.How would you react if someone say "You look like a Christian/Hindu/Buddha/Jewish in this photo".Pissed off right?So don't make that kind of remarks to people.That's not nice.Think about it from their perspective.Thank God that kid is nice enough not to reply to that comment.I know,you meant it as a compliment.Yes.As a Muslim it is a compliment.But for a non-Muslim?It might turn out to be an insult don't you think?So...I don't have a conclusion here.

Well I'm sorry I don't appear physically(is it?) like a Muslim.I don't know how a Muslim supposed to look like other than wearing hijab and covering aurat.Wait...Does it mean I have to look like a certain race to be considered as a Muslim?That's racist.

I came from a mixed family.My mum is a muallaf.My grandfather of her side who we called Akung is a devoted Christian as well as my grandmother,Mama.My mum's siblings are all Christians,so as my cousins.I have some who converted to Muslim.I have uncles who are a either priest/father/reverend.(I still can't tell those apart).But we all lived happily.We respect each other's religion.And we're all good.I know some of you came from a different kind of upbringing.But you should have a non-Muslim friend don't you?You don't?Well...I don't know what to say.And I know for some of you,you'd expect all Muslims to have Muslim names like Ahmad,Muhammad,Nur,Siti,Nurul.Well you can't assume that all the time.My name is NINI EVO VAIZURA.I am a Muslim.My bestfriend is CHARO BINTI SANI NORDIN.She's a Muslim too.And our bestfriend is BENAZIR JAPIRIL BANDARAN,she's a Muslim too.So you can't judge someone by their name or their race or how they look.And please stop questioning how can I be related to that person who is not even a Muslim.We're blood related.We may have different beliefs but we're family.Tied by blood.And that shouldn't be a problem considering some of our beloved Prophet's PBUH family member is not even Muslim till the end.

I'm not implying anything here.This is not stereotyping okay.Please hear me out.It might not be weird for us Borneo people to have a mixed family.And it might be a little weird for SOME people from Peninsular to accept that.But hey.That's how we roll.Please respect that.And don't go and say things like "Ah,keluarga dia kafir".I don't like that.I'm honoured to be part of a mixed family.I'm proud of it.If I could do this life all over again,I'd choose the same family,Sinakagon Pius Intiang Lausin.I'm proud that I'm a Dusun,with a lil bit of Java and Chinese on the side.That's just the main course,you wanna know the rest?Hahaha.I have a lil Bajau,Dayak,Iban and Murut too.I'm like an ABC.And yeah I taste good. ;) There's no such thing as a pure blood here in Sabah.You can ask all of your Sabahan friends if you don't believe me.Ask them what is their race.And all that's in between.Go ahead and try.It's impossible I dare say to find a pure blood Dusun,Bajau,Suluk,Murut etc etc.Seriously.Kawin campur maaaa...Hahahahaha.I be following that footsteps too. ;)

Don't worry.Even though I came from a mixed family,when they drink,I don't.When they eat non halal food,I don't.But my family are a considerate type.I've told this story before right,pernah puasa di kampung with my grandparents.So you'll understand.When I say mixed family,I meant Muslims + non-Muslims.

I came across a sign on a Restaurant the other day while wandering around Segama with my friends.It said "Restoran XXXX.Makanan Islam".I LOL-ed.Why?Because there are no such thing as 'Makanan Islam'.Makanan Halal yes.But 'Makanan Islam',nope!You can't do that you know.Label yourself as a restaurant that serves 'Makanan Islam'.As far as I'm concerned,Islam never put a label on any kind of food.There are no particular food that is labelled as 'Makanan Islam'.Muslims can eat chicken.Its not pork.BUT!Whether it is Halal or Haram doesn't apply to the type of food in this case.But how it was prepared.Sembelihan for example.I'm just saying that,as far as I know,there are no such thing as 'Makanan Islam'.It sounds funny.If that exist then there's going to be a 'Makanan Christian' or 'Makanan Hindu'.Just put 'Makanan Halal' for God's sake.Orang tau sudah orang Islam boleh makan sana.Jangan la extreme sangat sampai letak 'Makanan Islam'.That's branding namanya.Nanti orang Cina namau makan di kedai ko baru tau.Orang Cina banyak duit tau.Nehh...Rugi...

Okay lah.That's all for today.Have a nice day people!Remember, RESPEITO.Ciao!

p/s : Excuse my grammar and typo please.Malas mau recheck and rewrite.Hahaha

p/s 2 : Azmie saya orang paling comel di dunia. :)

My Kind of Music Is Kind of Weird

2011-09-26T20:32:00.000+08:00

I was going to make a post about bullying and stuff but I'm kinda lack of ideas right now.I read my previous blogpost and it was full of typos.Yeah...I was suppose to put 'taught' instead of thought.So...I'm dumb.Anyway.Here's a new blogpost from me.Just for the sake of blogging I guess.If you're bored,feel free to do this as well.Cheerio!

Pick 10 artists before reading the questions!

1.) Queen
2.) Avenged Sevenfold
3.) U-KISS
4.) BEAST
5.) Lady Gaga
6.) Foster the People
7.) Take That
8.) Big Bang
9.) Maroon 5
10.) Rod Stewart

1.) What was the first song you ever heard by 6?
     Pumped Up Kicks.

2.) What is your favorite song of 8?
     Haru Haru.

3.) What kind of impact has 5 left on your life?
     More than you can ever imagine.She's one of my idols.She's true to herself.Honest with her music.She opens a lot of doors.And one day I'm gonna sing songs just like her.

4.) What are your favorite lyrics of 1?
     "Inside my heart is breaking,my make up maybe flaking but my smiles.Still stays on"

5.) How many times have you seen 4 live?
     Unfortunately,never.I missed out on them three times.

6.) What is your favorite song by 7?
     Patience.

7.) Is there any song by 3 that makes you sad?
     0330.

8.) What is your favorite song by 9?
     She Will Be Loved.

9.) When did you first get into 2?
     Over three years ago.My boyfriend gave me one song,Dear God and then I searched for more and got hooked up.They're the best band ever!

10.) How did you get into 3?
      After listening to their song Round & Round.I thought this group is pretty good.And they continue to make good music.Sadly not enough recognition.

11.) What is your favorite song by 4?
       Fiction.

12.) How many times have you seen 9 live?
       None. :(

13.) What is a good memory concerning 10?
      His song "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You".I gave that to my boyfriend years ago.

14.) Is there a song by 8 that makes you sad?
      Emm...Lies.

15.) What is your favorite song of 1?
      The Show Must Go On.

God Hates Me...Sometimes

2011-09-24T19:03:00.004+08:00

내가 제일 잘나가.Yeah...More like the best in screwing up.For your information,nothing I ever did in this life is right.I'm always wrong.And I don't know why.난 항상 잘못 해요.내가 왜?Hmmm...I think I'm cursed.Just like in the movies.I'm the problem here.If I'm not hurting myself,I'll end up hurting everyone else.I'm like a hurting machine.Everything that comes out of my head are bound to hurt people.And usually,the people I meant to hurt doesn't get it,and when I don't mean to hurt people,things get ugly.Just like my face.God,why are you doing this to me?어떡해?You are so unfair sometimes.I just don't get where You're going with this.This game slash destiny slash fate You're playing on me.Piss off!Aishhh...젠장!

Suddenly I feel like my summer holiday is a wee bit too long.젠장...When will you ever be thankful Nini!But seriously though.I was planning to work this summer.Planning to get some extra cash for some plans.But Noooooo...God decided it's time for my wisdom tooth to come out.And hell yeah it hurts!Thank You oh Merciful One.Pfft!Yeah I'm talkin to You alright.There are like 365 days a year and You got to choose summer.Great!All my plans were ruined.I didn't even get the chance to go to Tawau like I initially planned.Everything's screwed.God loves to screw up my life.Which apparently,I don't even think I have one.And God decided that it wasn't enough to screw me up so He screwed my family up.Okay fine!Challenge accepted.And everything went down down down afterwards.Oh yeah,if you're a pious servant of God,you should back the hell off my blog...right...about...now!
Yeah I'm pissed alright.I just don't understand what does He want from me.I mean come on.He created me in the first place,and now He's destroying me,one brain & heart cell at a time.If You wanna take me down,You do it all the way.Yes! I surrender.How am I suppose to win over You and Your bloody tests?You're like the mightiest power on Earth,no Universe.People bow to You.People worship You.How the hell would a mere human like me,which happens to be one of Your creations,go up against You?Not going against You as in disobeying You.(For you sick headed pejuang jihad out there) What I meant was to live up to Your expectations.I can't.I am basically nothing.Even a plankton is more significant than me.So why me?Why like this?If You're not happy with me,why don't You just take me away from here?Why torture me?There's just so many things I wanna ask You.And I hope You're listening. (Damn...I've gone crazy tryna talk to God...Like this...진짜...)

젠장...내가 왜 이렇게요? Hmmm....이렇게 정말 아프다.This is hurtful.나는 미친놈 바보 사람.I hate myself right now...

I have put a lot of thought to it,and I think I'm too old to be living off my parents.I think it's time for me to be independent.Whatever independent means.I have thought of moving out of my parent's house next summer.Which means,I'm still gonna come back to Malaysia every summer,but I'm not gonna live with them anymore.I have thought of renting rooms and working part time jobs.Anything that will keep me alive for at least two months or so.I don't care if I have to eat instant noodle for that matter.I'm all grown up now.At least that's what I thought.In the USA,some kids already left their houses at the age of eighteen to pursue their dreams or whatnot.See?My point exactly.I am too old to be living off my parents.Staying at home made my realize,I do no good being at home.Other than cleaning and stuff.Which suddenly became my sole responsibility.I am wasting my youth here.I should be out there like all of my friends.Living life to the fullest.Travelling here and there.And I don't wanna be stuck at home.I'm not a kid anymore.And internet isn't that much fun anymore.I'm thinking of pros and cons of my actions and the consequences that will follow but I am going to do this.I am going to leave.I don't wanna stay here anymore.My dream job is to be a UN volunteer.To travel.To do things beyond my limit.So far I did none o'that.Which makes me five step behind everybody else of my age.I know its outta my comfort zone.Things gonna be hard.But that's life right?At least twenty years from now,if I'm still alive,I have things to talk about.How hard my life was...How crazy the things I've done to survive.Not that I'm not thankful with the things my parents provide for me.No.Its just that,I wanna do things for myself.For once.Maybe cast this 'selfish' demon outta myself.Maybe by living by my own wits will make me a better person.Who knows?Even my big sister didn't live with us at my age.She's still alive and well.I think my parents will flip when I tell them my plan.I'm still waiting for a good time to tell them.They don't have to give me money if they don't want to.I'll manage.Sometimes I think its unfair.My parents always thought me how hard their life was as a kid and as an adolescence.I never get the chance to feel that way.How am I suppose to appreciate life when I never get to experience that kind of hardship?Well,I know I know.You're smirking right now right?Saying "This bitch just bitched about hatin on God and stuff because of the misery God gave her and she's askin fo hardship now?This bitch be trippin".Oh yeah?Why don't chu get up on ma grill and I'm ma beat yo ass up.What?What?Come at me bro.Wait whaaaat?Hahaha....That my friend,is a different kind of hardship.Mine was more of a heartache than a hardship.And tell you what,heartache is uncurable.Hardship you can make a living outta it.I'm bluffing.I don't even know what I'm talking about right now.Damn you hypoglycemia.

Ma point is...ehem...my point is.I wanna experience the things ma momma & ma dad experienced.What am I gon tell my bambinis in the future?Yo momma live off her parents till she was thirty?Damn that ain't cool.Besides,living away from my family would mean I get enough space for myself.Shit! I just wanna be alone! I just want a house for myself.I don't care if I got only a piece of mattress.I'm gon find my own crib and live my own life away from everybody and survive.Yeah.Wut?And God,for God's sake please convince my parents to let me move outta the house.And I don't want them to let me go with a heavy heart.I want them to let me go with hope and pride.Like like...A parents sending off their son to war.Yeah like that.Thas shit right ther.And they ain't got to worry shit.I'm a big girl.I know how to take care of myself.Though I'm not really a good person,still I'm tryin ma best to be good.So that still counts right?Aite.Whatever.

I guess that's all for now.I haven't write in a while and once I do I'm like BAAM! Yeah food for thoughts.And um...Kids,if you're under the age of 18 and be reading my blog,please don't ever be like me.Be someone else.Be someone better.And listen to your parents,if necessary.Argue if you must.But not always.It'll make you grow.Stay in school.Study well unless you have something else to offer to the society other than your intelligence.That's all.Ciao!

saturday already?

2011-09-24T17:06:00.001+08:00

Yuuuuuhuuuu~ This is a test.I mean a testing post.

Millennium Children

2011-09-11T18:43:00.000+08:00

This is a random post.So I cut my hair again today (yeah yeah,you told everybody already.on twitter on facebook.everywhere.pfft!)... (-_-") asssssssss I was saying,I cut my hair really short today.And for the first time ever,I don't regret chopping off my ~~beautiful golden locks~~ long hair.Check out my Facebook wall photo,if you're my friend on Facebook or on my Twitter default,if you're following me on Twitter (stop acting like a celebrity you moron)..*whispering* shut up! I'm sorry,that's my 'conscience' speaking.Pfft!More like my hater.

So what I'm going to show you guys today are some pictures of my three year ~~lil twerp~~ old brother,Ayie.For some reason I think that it is amusing (not!).

This is our little angel Ayie with his Teddy.(I blame Mr Bean).And that is his favorite white blanket which he calls his semiut (selimut).It was supposed to be Abah's selendang,serban...err...Abah punya lah yang penting!But this lil twerp took it from Abah.This kid is Anak Abah,like me.Daddy's boy.Abah punya cakap ja paling dia dengar.Pfft.

This is his daily routine.I only function as the person who turns on the laptop,open the browser and search on Youtube.The rest (play,enlarge,buffer,next) he does it himself.May I remind you that this kid is only 3 years old and he can't even pronounce the word R just yet.

LIKE A BOSS.

This...was candid.I was busy watching videos on my phone.He took Abah's phone,turned on the camera and start to take pictures of himself and everything around him.In this photo,he tried to record a commercial (because we don't have Astro PVR...yet).

As you can see,from the photos above,he looks ~~fat~~,~~plumpy~~,gundut kan?Yes he is very healthy.And he is 17kg to date.And yes,that is heavy.And yes,you might sprain your back carrying him if you weight less than 45 kg.And yes,he is cuddly.Hahahahahaha.

Oh boy.I am so gonna miss this kid once I'm back in that wasteland.Hmm...Anyhow.That's all.Bye bye!

How Do I Get You Alone?

2011-09-10T05:18:00.002+08:00

I love this song because it reminds me of Azmie.I miss him so much. (T~T)

It's 455 am here,Malaysian time.I'm supposed to sleep right now but nooooo~ I'm not.

I wanted to do a Freddie Mercury birthday tribute post but I got stuck with this song.I'll do a tribute later.
I'm not going anywhere.

I love the lyrics,the video and everything.

This is my second favorite Avril Lavigne's song after When You're Gone.

I still can't listen to When You're Gone without having my eyes all teary.Seriously.

Hmm...I'm so sad right now.I miss him so much.

He's dealing with his final exams now.I wish you the best of luck sayang.Fighting! I love you Azmie.
*whispering*
(but I miss you even more) (T~T)

So...before I start crying,I better do something fast.

Because I'm in the living room so I can't just cry freely here.My room?Monsters.

Kidding.My sister slept on my bed so I had to sleep outside.

But I can't sleep because I can't sleep with the lights on.

I need to be in total darkness to fall asleep.Seriously.

No,seriously.
My pineal gland is kinda shitty these days.
I mean come on,the amount of melatonin its secreting?Pfft.
What am I?A three year old?
I need more!
I need sleep!
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!~

That
is
all.
Bye now.
(T~T)

p/s : Good luck Azmie.I love you so much.Fighting!

Hello from Another Way To Numb My Mind.

2011-09-09T13:21:00.001+08:00

Is this working?Will this work?I'm email-blogging right now.I hope
this will work.It'll make my life 9564353721546873 easier.Thank you
technology.If this work,I promise to update my blog more often.At the
end of everyday,before I go to sleep.Starting...emm..anytime soon I
guess.Well that's all.Bye.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Selamat Hari Raya

2011-08-31T15:41:00.001+08:00

This is a two in one post.Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri & Selamat Hari Kemerdekaan yang ke-54 Malaysia.

I've been very busy for the past couple of weeks.Dealing with my toothache of course.Mum told me my surgery mungkin akan dipercepatkan.Thank God!Sebab sedih bha nda dapat ni makan time raya.Kuih raya pun dapat tengok ja.Sebab keras kan.Kalau salah gigit,nah...guling-guling kesakitan lepas tu.Huhu (T~T).

Emm...Jarang sudah online sekarang.Memandangkan phone saya rosak.Sebab phone sekarang ni nda ada wifi jadi nda dapat la surfing percuma dalam rumah.(Even dalam tandas...Hahahaha.Tida bha.) Lepas tu sekarang saya malar depan TV sebab banyak cerita siok.Hehehe...Macam biasalah melayan drama Korea non-stop!Busy lagi menjaga adik saya yang paling kecil tu,lil twerp Ayie!Adui...nda menang tangan mau melayan tu budak.Telampau pintar.Tia pandai diam lagi tu.Maka saya busy la sekarang...Kununlah...

Hmm...Apa lagi mau cerita aa.Oo...Jumaat minggu lalu,sebelum raya tu,berapa hari bulan tu aa?26 ka?Malas mau tengok calendar.Hahaha.Kami ada small reunion untuk ex-6 Harapan 2002 SRK St Francis Xavier Keningau di rumah cikgu Maths merangkap cikgu kelas kami dulu,Teacher Rosliza.Nda ramai pun yang hadir.Nda sampai pun sepuluh orang.Sebab yang lain tu belum balik kan.Tapi siok la.Mau dekat sepuluh tahun sudah nda jumpa dorang.Lain sudah muka semua.Thank you kepada semua yang datang,Kak Yong,Wawa,Amalina & adik dia(saya lupa nama adik dia -.-"),Adlizan & Zulhelmi(ka?).Saya lupa sudah nama-nama dorang.Huhuhu...Sedih~ Makin tua rupanya sudah saya ni.
Lepas tu besoknya saya attend satu lagi reunion.With THE ULUNGS!This...I really look forward tu.Semua yang jauh pulang,yang diperantauan pulang.Bukan senang sudah mau kumpul kan?Kami kumpul ngam-ngam pada hari si ketua kontinjen,Jimmy sampai Sabah dari UTP.Syahmi & Ben memang tengah intern di KK.Charo & Valen pun sudah balik dari UK.Jadi perfect timing la mau kumpul.Awal pagi saya jalan dari Keningau.Time saya sampai di Terminal Nui Luk tu,bas mau jalan sudah.Next bas yang nda penuh is jam 10.Saya sedih sudah.Sebab sampai tengahari kan.Nda siok la.But boss Nui Luk tu kawan abah jadi dia kasi naik bas yang mau jalan sudah.Tapi duduk belaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakang sekali.Saya pun nda sure itu memang seat dalam bas ka atau tempat letak barang.Sandi juga la terpaksa belipat-lipat duduk di belakang tu.Tapi tidak apa.Tapi yang bikin panas tu kan,ada bha pervert mengacau saya time tu.Kin panas betul.Sudah la saya mabuk.Nah...last-last muntah.Pasal tu pervert.Damn you!Sampai la juga di KK.Terus Valen & Charo ambil saya di terminal,terus kami pi 1Borneo.Hahahaha.Paling detail sudah.Sementara menunggu kehadiran si Ben,kami main pool.Saya main 3 game lawan Charo.Semua kalah.Damn...Tidak terer bha sudah.Lama sudah nda main kan.Huhuhu...Lepas habis 5 game,kami pi lepak Times baca-baca buku.Ada buku belajar Korean tapi duit saya tia cukup mau beli time tu.Huhu...Saya ada la tulis certain words dalam phone saya tapi malangnyaa...Phone saya itu sudah rosak lorh. (T~T) Sampai ja si Ben,kami pi tengok wayang Zookeeper.Lawak gila!Saya bagi 3/5 lah.Hehehehe.Si Ben lah paling kuat ketawa.Terus saya teringat Azmie saya.Dia pun ketawa kuat kalau tengok wayang.Comel ni. (^_^)
Lepas wayang tu kami pi Tanjung Aru berbuka puasa sana.Paling lucu time berbuka.Time Azan lah.Kami angkat tangan ja berdoa,semua orang tengok kami.Hahahaha.Dorang nda sangka kali kami Muslim.Kecuali si Valen lah.Tapi dia pun puasa bha hari tu.Ada 20 sayap ayam,30 sate,keropok lekor,teh C ping,orange,soya.Nahh...makan besar.Thank you Charo ka Valen aa yang bayar tu?Anyway...Thank you!Biarpun saya nda dapat makan banyak sebab sakit gigi.Damn...Tapi puas hati juga lah dapat lepak-lepak cerita-cerita sama dorang.Jimmy awal-awal dia cakap dia nda dapat join.Beliau dia nda bagi.Syahmi pula mau berbuka sama family dulu.Kalau dapat join baru dia join.Terus macam nda berapa siok sudah.Tapi tiba-tiba si Valen dapat SMS daripada si Jimmy.Dia minta culik dari rumah dia.Terus kami pun plan la apa semua.Terus kami pun pigi rumah dia.Contact Syahmi,dia di Suria Sabah.So last-last kami plan lepak di Jesselton Point lah.Syahmi sampai duluan sebab kami caught up in traffic.Gila mau mati jam 9 pun jammed masih area sana tu.Tapi banyak insiden lucu lah berlaku sebelum kami sampai JP.Hahaha...Biarlah kami ja yang tau.Saya & Charo naik kereta si Ben.Terus Jimmy dapat kereta dari beliau dia.Jadi naik kereta la kami semua.Best!Kami punya mini konvoi.Hehehe...Terus kami lepak-lepak la di JP.Cerita-cerita.Siok!Then malam tu saya tidur di rumah si Charo.Mummy dia ada buat Sheppard(gitu ka mau eja tu?) Pie.Tengok cerita Korea lagi sama aunty Kung & si Yoko sampai jam 2.Terus tidur.Pagi tu pigi Gaya Street sekejap.Then saya pulang Keningau naik teksi sebab trauma mau naik bas sudah.

Okay lah.Parents saya mau pi rumah nenek tua sudah.Saya rasa mau ikut.Tapi sakit gigi.Hohoho...Till then.Selamat Hari Raya semua.Bye bye~!Ppyong ppyong!~~ (^_^)v

p/s : Saya rindu Azmie saya. (T~T)

You Know What I Hate?

2011-08-22T06:29:00.001+08:00

너는 내가 밉다 하는지 알아요?

You don't know?Well I'm here to tell you what it is.I'm currently doing my best to learn Hangeul (Korean).Not because I want to be a South Korean.JFC...Some people are so stupid I guess.It's just for fun.For my own knowledge.At least I'm skilled in more than three languages.That's a skill.I can use it for the purpose of work and communication someday.Bahasa,English and Chinese is nothing these days.Even the PATIs can speak Chinese nowadays.Don't believe me?Come to Keningau and you'll see tan-skinned,curly-haired people speaks Chinese.I hate it when people misunderstood my intentions.

너는 내가 정말 밉다 하는지 알아요? 너는 몰라요? 아 ... 진짜요?

Okay I'll tell.You know what.I hate people bashing on KPOP.I don't know what's your problem.I don't know why.But I don't like it.난 그게 너무 싫다.

I've been delaying this post for days.Because I have tonnes of (no)things to do.LOL.Seriously.I was busy playing with my 3 year old brother.

I helped my dad cleaned the backyard yesterday afternoon and look what happened to me.I had this excruciating shoulder pain and I had to wear neck support.I don't know what happened.As far as I remembered,all I did was kakai daun pokok rambutan yang gugur.That was it.I may have glanced at my neighbor's banana tree and thought to myself "Ee..pokok ni dari aku kecil lagi di sini".But only to myself.Saya cakap dalam hati maa...And I did have this thought though "Mesti keteguran ni lepas kasi bersih ni"...Oh my God.That's it!That's where I screwed up!Abah told me that 'something' at the banana tree 'tegur' me because 'it' thought I was an acquaintance.Abah added,because of my hair.Yeah...Nice try dad.Ain't gonna change my hair color for now.Hahahaha...Nopedy nopedy nu~ 죄송합니다 아빠..ㅋㅋㅋ..

내 여보가 보고싶어요 (T~T). 내 여보가 오늘 과 어제 과 내일 바쁘게하다. 저는 노래를 CN Blue's 노래,"외톨이야"... 외톨이야, 외톨이야~~ (T~T)... I miss Azmie so much! Azmie 보고싶어서요...

I guess that's it for now.My back is killing me.내가 그거 정말 걱정해요. 너무 아파요~ ㅜㅜㅜ I'll write again soon.Take care everyone.Have a nice blessed day. 안녕... 뿅!뿅!뿅!~ (n_n)/

p/s : I MISS AZMIE J ANDAI SO MUCH! 아~~~~

I am awesome

2011-08-22T01:55:00.002+08:00

Testing...

Exactly How I Feel...

2011-08-12T23:12:00.001+08:00

CL] Balkge useobojiman

Nae mame deulji anha

Nan yeppeuji anha areumdapji anha

Oh oh oh oh

[BOM] Norael bulleobojiman

Amudo deutji anha

Nan yeppeuji anha areumdapji anha

Oh oh oh oh

[DARA] Nan wae ireohke motnan geolkka

Eoddeokhamyeon nado neocheoreom hwanhage

Useobol su isseolkka

[MINJI] Ddo hwagana wae neul wanbyeokhaji mothae

I ggaejin geoul sok motnan moseubeul hyanghae

Tathagiman hae

[BOM] Chyeodabojima jigeum I neuggimi shilheonan

Eodironga sumgoman shipeo

Beoseo nago shipeo

I sesangeun geojitmal

[CL] I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty

I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face tellin’

me I’m pretty

I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty

I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face cuz I know

I’m ugly

[MINJI] Nal shwipge ihaehandago hajima

Mot saenggigo bbiddoleojin nae maeumi neol

Wonmanghaljido molla

[BOM] Mal shikijima nan neowa eoulliji mothae

Geu jalnan nunbit sok chagawoon gashiki nal

Summakhige hae

[MINJI] Dagaojima neoui gwanshimjocha shilheo nan

Eodironga ddeonago shipeo sori chigo

Shipeo

I sesangeun geojitmal

[CL] I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty

I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face tellin’

me I’m pretty

I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty

I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face cuz I know

I’m ugly

[DARA] All alone

I’m all alone

Ddaddeuthamiran eopseo

Gyeoten amudo eopseo

All alone I’m all alone

I’m always all alone

Ddaddeuthamiran eopseo

Gyeoten geu nugudo nal anajul saram eopseo

[CL] I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty

I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face tellin’

me I’m pretty

I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty

I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face cuz I know

I’m ugly

TRANSLATION:

[CL] I’m trying to smile brightly but

I don’t like it

I’m not pretty, I’m not beautiful

Oh oh oh oh

[BOM] I’m trying to sing but

No one is listening

I’m not pretty, I’m not beautiful

Oh oh oh oh

[DARA] Why am I this ugly

What must I do for me to be able to smile brightly like you?

[MINJI] I’m getting angry again, why can’t I ever be perfect

I simply put the blame on my ugly appearance in this broken mirror

[BOM] Don’t look at me, I hate this feeling right now

I want to hide away somewhere, I want to escape

This world is full of lies

[CL] I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty

I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly

[MINJI] Don’t tell me that you can understand me so easily

My ugly and crooked heart may even come to resent you

[BOM] Don’t force me to talk, I’m not right for you

The cold thorns inside that patronizing gaze suffocate me

[MINJI] Don’t come closer, I don’t even want your concern

I want to leave away to somewhere, I want to shout out

This world is full of lies

[CL] I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty

I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly

[DARA] All alone

I’m all alone

There is no such thing as warmth

There is no one by my side

All alone

I’m all alone

I’m always alone

There’s no such thing as warmth

Next to my side, there’s not even anyone to embrace me

[CL] I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be prety

Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty

I think I’m ugly

And nobody wants to love me

Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty

Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly

credits:
video by 2NE1 @ youtube
rom by bestdj @ ygladies.com + trans by GEE @ ygladies.com (via oneasiaa.wordpress.com

Just Want 10 Minutes

2011-07-17T22:25:00.000+08:00

Yorobun annyeong! (^_^)v

Hahahahaha.Yeah,I know.WTF is with this kid?Hahahaha.I am so happy today.Well,despite my horrible exams and stuff,still,I am alive and well.For now.Hahahaha.Okay..So what now.Oh,have I told you that I am going home?Yes yes.Ten days to go bish!Hahahahaha...I am just so happy I could die.Omo~

I have been watching few Korean Variety shows and drama recently.I hereby recommend RUNNING MAN for those who likes to laugh and have a good time.I swear to God,your tummy might just explode out of laughter.Seriously.Because I almost had a mini heart attack last time I watched RUNNING MAN.Damn it.That show is so awesome.My fave has to be SPARTAKOOKS!Hahahahaha.Though recently he traded his manliness to be the aegyo KOOKIE,still...He is awesome.And scary.But at the same time,cute.Aegyo-scary SPARTAKOOKIE!Hehehehehe.But I like everybody.Na Monday Couple Gary & Jihyo neomu cheoayeo.I like them very much.I like everybody!It's sad that Jongki has to leave the show.No more scandalous Jongki.Awww... :( I can't wait for the subbed episodes to be uploaded on Youtube!
I watched ATHENA GODDESS OF WAR and I'm like...This...Yes!A must watch drama lah.K-drama must not ever miss this drama.Very modern,very awesome.And dibs on Jung Woo Sung & Kim Min Jong.Wahahahahahahaha...Jung Woo Sung used his real name in this drama,Jung Woo.Kim Min Jong as Ki Soo.Awhh...Cheenchal these ahjussi!They're like in their forties already but still smoking hot!Seriously.SMOKING HOT!Especially Jung Woo.Omo.How old is he really?Super cute eyes,super cute smile,super smoking hot body.Omo...And don't get me started with Kim Min Jong!I freaking like this ahjussi!As they get older,they get hotter and hotter.What is your secret hanguk saram ahjussi?Oh?Malhaebwa...
Okay this might make me lame,but I just started to watch FAMILY OUTING.Yeah I know.Major fail right.But one insignificant short man once told me,it's better late than never right?So I kinda fell for one of the family member.Guess who...Hahahaha.Clue?He is in his 40 also.Just like Jung Woo Sung and Kim Min Jong.He is one of the most respected actor in Korea.Tall and manly.Handsome too.Hehehe.If you guess Chunhee or Haejin,please slap yourself.Not them.It's KIM SOO RO!Yes!Kim Soo Roo oppa!Na cheoayeo! >_< Hehehehehe.I just love how cool he is on that show.How cool it is for him to win all the games.Yes,he is my GAME DEVIL!Kim Soo Ro.He is so manly,right?I like the look on his face when he's doing his thing.Although he is a little weird,and mean towards Chunhee,still,I just can't stop liking him.I like him a lot,this Kim Soo Ro oppa!Mianhae Jung Woo Sung & Kim Min Jong ahjussi,Kim Soo Ro wins! ^_^
So because of my obsession ehem I mean fondness towards Kim Soo Ro oppa,I started to watch his drama GOD OF STUDY.This aired on KBSW last year but I missed it because I was following I AM SAM,the one with TOP of Big Bang in it.And I honestly regret my decision to abandon this drama.Kim Soo Ro oppa is so jjang! >_< I don't even swoon over the handsome co-star in GOD OF STUDY,the one named Hwang Baek Hyun (Hwang Taek Kyung.LOL) because I was too mesmerized by Kim Soo Ro oppa's charisma.Wah...That man.He is so manly.Full of manliness.Yaahhhh....Kim Soo Ro appa..Ops!Oppa...Hahahaha.He is so awesome......

I am a BEAST B2ST fanatic these days.And I am currently starting on my BEAST fan FICTION.I haven't thought of any tittle but the story is there.I just need to jolt them down.And I gotta warn you,people with weak heart or stomach should really restrain yourself from reading it.Hahahaha.I think I wouldn't wanna post in in public either.My BEAST oppas will think I'm creepy.Hahahaha....I just love BEAST.Can't go a day without listening to their songs.My favorite for now is VIRUS.Damn sexy song.Woonwoon's voice.Jeongmal...Drives me micheosseo.Hehehehehe...

Okay lah.That's all.Suddenly I ran out of ideas.Hahahahaha...Just so you know,LEE GIKWANG,SON DONGWOON & KIM SOO RO ARE MINE!ALL MINE!!!!Hahahahahaha.Bye now!

Annyeong! ^_^

Not Ready To Make Nice

2011-06-07T17:54:00.000+08:00

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time
To go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell, can't bring myself
To do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can't you just get over it?
It turned my whole world around
And I kinda like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'
It's a sad, sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger

And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter sayin' that I better
Shut up and sing or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time
To go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell, can't bring myself
To do what it is you think I should

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time
To go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell, can't bring myself
To do what it is you think I should
What it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

Friday Friday

2011-05-20T09:02:00.001+08:00

I think its a bit lame to start all my post with "It's been a while" or "Bersarang labah-labah sudah blog saya".Haha.No not this time,no.I think I wanna start to write about something that is going through my mind right now.Duh,like you don't know that.So anyway.

Hey,girls who just love to let their boobs hanging out from their shirts.I wanna ask you some things.I was curious.What were you guys thinking when you guys do it?Show your cleavage (or what's barely even there to begin with) to the public eye?Does it make you feel any prettier?Sure,your boobs might be nice.I'm sure it goes with your face too right?So why choose to publicly display them boobies?If you're pretty enough and you have that level of confidence in you,I bet you don't need to show them boobies to the whole world right?I mean like,come on.Do you really think that would impress a guy?And people will call you sexy?Haha.Don't make me laugh.And one more thing.Some of you are hypocrites you know.You upload your 'sexy lah sangat' photos on Facebook,Twitter etc etc and when people comment on it saying "Hey boobies" (for example),you call them pervert.Damn girl.You asked for it.Don't get me wrong.I'm not saying all this because I'm jealous.Oh trust me.I'm pretty confident with my boob size okay?They're pretty nice too.But I pity you guys.I wonder,if you already show off what boys had been trying to see all their lives,what's there to offer for that man of your life in the future?Yeah.That guy who would be spending every day if his life looking at your boobs.What if someone came up to him and said "Your wife,her boobies are nice.I saw it".If I were a guy,damn,that's insulting.Guys like to win at things,(aren't you lads?) so that is definitely not winning at all.I'm not saying I'm good.I love to tease people every once in a while.But nobody gives a damn about me & my boob size because I'm PWNED by this one hot guy.Hehehe.But I never go as far as showing off a little too much of my precious babies to the entire universe.This is just my point of view.Excuse me.But baby girl,I don't wanna see your tits on my Facebook Newsfeed,Twitter Timeline or even my Tumblr Dashboard.Keep your boobies where they belong.Within your bra,beneath your shirt and away from people's eye.

(I was drawing the mammary gland and this came through my mind.)

Second of all.I read this Pekeliling thingy on my friend's house yesterday.It was Jaksi's pekeliling.I don't even know what is that thing.I read that it is forbidden to smoke & smoke opiate here.Wait a minute.Correct me if I'm wrong.What is the proper term for Shisha?I mean the act of smoking shisha?Do they call it shisha?I was playing with Omegle last time and there's this girl (I pretended I was a male),she asked me if we have hooka in Egypt.She was from South Africa.And I was like "What the hell is a hooka?".I thought it was an 'Engrish' slang for hooker.You know."Mr X you wan hooka fo tonite?" kind of thing.So I Google it and found out that hookah is that bong-like thing where you smoke shisha from.Smoking shisha right?Or is it shisha-ing?LOL.I don't know.I have been here for three years and I never even tried those things.I don't smoke.Anymore.Haha.So here's the real thing,my friend told me that smoking shisha is forbidden in our religion.Is that correct?Haram shisha.Is that true?She said,if you're a non-smoker but you smoke shisha,it is haram.But if you're a cigarette smoker,its not haram.I am confused.What kind of a hukum is that?So this is why I'm asking you geniuses out there.Help me out here will you?I wanna know.The real deal of this thing.Is it haram or not?I want dalil-dalil okay?Don't just simply argue without any arguments to offer.I was going to buy a small crystal hookah for decorative purpose at home.This is why I'm asking you people.

You know what I hate the most about flush type toilet?It is when the toilet cover/lid is down.Freaking insane!I hate it when that happens.Yeah you know what I mean.Surprise surprise.I hate that the most.Whenever I'm in a public restroom,if the stall that I'm about to use had its lid closed,I won't even bother to enter.For God's sake people,LEARN HOW TO FREAKING FLUSH!

Emm...Oya.This is for KPOP fans only.You can skip to the next paragraph (if there's any) if you're not a fan of KPOP.Have you listen to B2ST's new song FICTION?YOU MUST!If you like that 0330 song from U-KISS I posted here a while ago,you should love it too.And try to listen to their song YOU.I love that song right now.And everytime I hear Dongwoon's part,I smiled to myself.Hehehe.Because he reminds me of my Azmie.No joke.Dongwoon looks a lot like my man!But Dongwoon fans out there,BACK OFF!That's my man.Go find your own KPOP idol look-alike man.Huh!I am so proud to be a BEAUTY.B2ST had been showing a lot of improvement since their first debut.But I kinda like AJ's hair back in BAD GIRL music video.And as a fan of KPOP,I would like to apologize to all non-Malaysian KPOP fans out there for the existence of this MPOP thing.Jeongmal mianhaeyo.I don't know what has gotten into those people.Seriously.And on behalf of ELF from Malaysia,I would like to apologize for the steps they copy from Super Junior's SORRY SORRY.Yeah,you max247.Such an embarrassment for all KPOP fans in Malaysia.Don't address yourself as MPOP please.Its embarrassing!

So I went to Tahrir today to get a hold with the Travel Agency who issued my ticket back in February.I thought if we couldn't use that ticket anymore,might as well get a refund.Tahrir was pretty damn calm in the afternoon.But you could see some young adults are sitting at the sidewalks,as if they are actually waiting for something big to happen.I bought some souvenirs for my beloved Azmie.Hehehe.At the end of the day,the travel agent asked us to come back on Sunday.Damn.I hope its not going to be sunny like today on Sunday.It was freaking hot.About an hour before Maghrib,some kids already gathered in the middle of the traffic.They were cheering and chanting something.I don't know what it was because my Arab sucks like that.Hoho.But we went home early before anything big even started.I was hoping to stay a little longer to witness whatever may happen (or maybe join them) but duty to God calls.We're coming back on Sunday to get our money back.We're Taking Back Sunday!Hahahaha.

I have been following this one blog for a while now.I don't know what kind of a blog do you call it.But there are so many of this kind.But I kinda like this one because of the humor.Its a very entertaining blog for me.I am a friend of this blogger's brother.His brother is pretty well known here in Egypt.Everybody knows him.He was the one who suggested that I should follow his brother's blog.So I checked it out and it was awesome.But today,I heard that the blog writer died of pneumonia at 530am Malaysia,1130pm Egypt,May 19th 2011.I was very shocked because I didn't even know he was sick.He never mentioned it on his blog.I just read his post few days back.And his last post wasn't anything weird at all.Its just like,he posted the usual thing and died suddenly.You know,I don't even know this blogger very well.I'm just a fan of is blog.I may not post a lot on my blog lately but that didn't keep me out from checking on people's post every now and then.And I'm still in shocked.To everyone who might be reading this,please,sedekah kan al-Fatihah buat arwah.Thank you.And I went to his blog again today,I read his bio this time.One thing that really got to me was that he wrote "Job : Pelajar Sampai Mati".Man,that is sad.I hope he'll be at peace on the other side.Condolences to the family.

That's all.Bye.

p/s : please excuse my grammar.its 3 o'clock in the morning.i have been out ticket haunting all day.i'm tired.

SO FAR AWAY.

2011-05-18T16:04:00.001+08:00

This is a very awesome video from Avenged Sevenfold!

I was really looking forward to this video.

And they never let me down!

You can never get any cooler than this guys.

I woke up on the day this video came up on MTV a bit late.

I scrolled through my Twitter and saw the Deathbat News posted that the video is out!

So I rushed down from my bunker and turn my laptop on.

But I was freaking pissed because I can't view the video.

"We can't provide this video on your region"

Damn you Egypt! I said.

I was pissed the whole day.

But the wait ended just a day after when they uploaded it on Youtube.

hehehehe.

Just so you know,that guitar Zacky used in this video,its similar to mine!

I am so freaking happy about it!

AWESOME VIDEO.

I cried the first 3 times.

Okay.Thanks.Bye.

I'm hurt can't you tell?

2011-05-02T03:34:00.001+08:00

No.I don't need any sympathy.I don't need any consolation.I don't need any advice.I just need time to fix my broken parts.I am a robot.I don't eat well.Thank God I sleep well.I don't feel like going out of the house,or my room for that matter.I don't know what brought me down lately.I'm not sure.Is it my ever annoying housemates (SOME)?The weather?The Egypt itself?Traffic?Exams?I don't know.But I'm down down down down down right now.So I took an oath not to use any foul language on Twitter starting from May 1st until July 28th (Exam period),I might as well apply the same thing here in my blog.It's kinda like my training.One foul word would cost me RM1 and it will be donated to Rumah Putera Harapan,Ranau.That's the least I could do.

God,I miss home.I miss Ayie.I mean,whenever I feel like I wanna runaway from the hectic thoughts of being a mini-adult,I just pick him up (Boy,he's heavy) and play with him all day until we both fell asleep.I taught him many things.I never get tired of him.That's the only baby I'm taking care of!At least not in another 10 years.Hmm...I think I've said this over and over again,I don't like being in Egypt!OMG I don't like it here.I'm sorry but I just can't.I'm dying here.I feel like I'm in an asylum.Seriously.Minus the medicine and the locked doors.They even hid our bedroom key!I don't even know why.Must everything I do in the bedroom you want to know?Pfft.Can somebody just call Ultraman and ask him to take me away from here?I wish they were real.Or Special Agent Oso.That lady bug has an alert for kids with troubles right?I kinda need one of those.Next time I see a lady bug,I'm going to do something unnecessary.Hah!I think I'm really losing my mind right now.Seriously.Hmm...

Exams.Everything.I just want them to end quickly so I could go home.I'm tortured here.Can't you tell?I have a tendency to kill myself.I'm not afraid of dying.Seriously.Because I'm so stressed out right now.Hmm...I just need some alone time.I need to runaway.Back at home,whenever I feel like hurting myself,I'll just runaway from home.Stay at any hotel and enjoy my time alone.Here?I can't go anywhere.I can't even lock my door.My roomates are always in the room.the only way to avoid them and to have my alone time is to skip class for the whole day.Yes,I am stupid.But I can't think clearly sometimes.I need to runaway.But here it sucks.I have to wear tudung and what not.Pfft!I just want everybody to disappear from my sight for at least an hour or two.This house is too packed.Can they just kick those people out already?They're an eyesore.Or let us live separately.Just five or six people per house.Damn.What is it with this plan?Sometimes,this choking environment drives me insane enough to jump out of the balcony or hang myself in the closet.Seriously.I want to move out but I don't have enough money.I go back home twice a year,so I need extra money.I can't stand two weeks with so many people in the house.So I runaway by going back to Malaysia.I don't wanna ask for money from my parents.That's shameful since I already have a scholar.I rather eat megi than ask for money anymore.So I don't have any other option but to live in misery.Oh somebody,can anybody find me someone to kill me!

Now,my stomach hurts for thinking about this stuff.Damn.I can't be intimidated without hurting myself can I?God,You're so unfair.People hurt me,if I'm upset,I'm the one who ends up getting hurt even more?How UNFAIR!Hmm...You and Your mysterious ways.I just don't get it sometimes.I can't tell my mum I'm upset,she'll get sick too.That is so upsetting.I can't tell anyone I'm upset,people would think of me as a loser.I can't tell Azmie,it'll be a burden.Hmm...Give me vicodin please!I hate it when people treat me like I'm invisible,but whenever I did something that is so 'wrong' in their point of view,suddenly,everybody cares about me.How great is that?And while I was sick,they weren't even there.I remember that one,let me put this nicely,'female dog' in my house,I was crawling for help on the hallway.She passed through me like I didn't exist.No,not through me.Over me.My legs were blocking the way.Nice one 'female dog'.I'll never forget that.See how they treated me?Yeah.I'm blonde.So I don't deserve any sympathy or help.Because I'm blonde.Blonde is like the white people.The kafir.So practically,I'm like a kafir too.They treat me as if I worshiped a different God from them.Good guys.Nice one.The heaven is too small I guess.You just wan't that place for yourself.Go ahead,I don't mind.As you please.I don't belong in heaven anyway.Pfft!

I guess that's all.I've said enough.I'm tired of crying.I wrote this in tears okay.Because I'm deeply wounded by everyone around me at the moment.Friends or no friends.EVERYONE IS EVERYONE.Everyone is hurting me right now.Everyone here.Don't try to confront me.Don't apologize.Let me fix my broken heart alone.Just,please leave me alone and don't act like you guys care when the truth is you don't.Because you people will never understand what I really feel.Bye.

And the medicine kicks in...

2011-04-26T02:20:00.001+08:00

I don't write things here to please people.I don't even write decent stuff.Just some bogus thoughts that I need to let out.Its suffocating every one of my brain cells.And that sucks.I need my brain cells.I have three Saturdays to kill.Three tests.Three motherfucking tests!And I am not ready.AT ALL.So then why do I even have time to write this you say?Well,fuck you.Its my blog.I'll write whenever I want.Its my fucking time.I'll do whatever I want with it.Yes.And if you're disturbed right now,leave my blog immediately.

Sometimes I just don't know what to write.I mean like is there even a guideline on what to blog about?If such thing exist,screw it.I blog whatever the hell I want.Nobody has the right to say I can't write this and that.What am I?A moron?No.So fuck off.And I don't think my blog is educational too.Though most of my colleagues, or friends who took the same course as I do,write about how hard it is to be a medical student.Talk about classes and stuff.Pure bullshit!You wanna bitch about how hard it is being a medical student?Why'd you took it in the first place.Man up and pull that stick out of your freaking ass.Stupid.Once upon a time,you wanted this shit so bad.Now that you got it,you wanna complain.Stupid fuckers.
And some people might expect to see things like pictures of cadaver and internal organs in my blog.Haha.No suckers.I don't do shit like that.Why?Because it sucks.Those cadavers used to be a living human being.They had families,friends and feelings too.So I think I should at least have some respect for their corpses.Not take pictures making peace signs and shit.That poor thing.How do you think your family would feel if they saw that shit?Happy? "Aww,my daughter/son took picture with a corpse.How fascinating." NOT!How would you trust a doctor who gave a peace sign beside a corpse like its some kind of a freak show?Is that how you treat dead bodies?Stupid.

What else.What else.Oh,I am not a fashion blogger too.My fashion sense stinks.Like the toilet after a certain someone goes in to take a dump.So I don't really blog about fashion.But I am honest with my opinion when I say crocs sandals are hideous.Yeah.They're so hideous I feel like stabbing the foot of those people who wore them sometimes.But that's just me.You like it.Go ahead.Wear it.And I am not a fashion blogger.I repeat.Am not.

Curse a lot.I curse a lot.A lot as in like breathing.I was frying some nuggets earlier today and the hot frying oil got into my eyes.And I was like "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK" all the way.Last night,I tried to pour some malt in my glass and it got out a lil and it fell directly to my phone and once again I was like "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK!".How to stop cursing by the way?My friend asked me to change the words.Like pu****** to Putatan.Shit to something else.But I just can't.I used to use SHIT a lot.But now,the word "FUCK" is all over my mouth.Oh Lord.I once cursed so loud,it stunned my pious housemates and they act as if I did a mortal sin in front of them.Damn it.If I could.I would stop.But I can't.I tried.But I can't.And changing those curses to zikir doesn't help at all.Why?Saying "Ya Allah" and "shit" afterwards is insulting don't you think?Or "Astaghfirullah" on your mouth but "Shit" on your heart.That's absurd in so many levels.

I have headache.I'm sick today.That's all. (with Meryl Streep impression from Devil Wears Prada)

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

2011-04-20T02:21:00.001+08:00

Welcome To My Life

2011-04-19T23:10:00.000+08:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong.
And no one understands you.

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on, turned up so loud.
That no one hears you screaming.

No you don't know what it's like.
When nothing feels alright.
You don't know what it's like, to be like me.

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark.
To be kicked, when you're down.
To feel like you've been pushed around.

To be on the edge of breaking down.
When no one's there to save you.
No you don't know what it's like.
Welcome to my life.

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more.
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies.
While deep inside you're bleeding.

No you don't know what it's like.
When nothing feels alright.
You don't know what it's like to be like me.

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark.
To be kicked, when you're down.
To feel like you've been pushed around.

To be on the edge of breaking down.
When no one's there to save you.
No you don't know what it's like.
Welcome to my life.

No one ever lies straight to your face.
And no one ever stabbed you in the back.
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay.

Everybody always gave you what you wanted.
You never had to work it was always there.
You don't know what it's like, what it's like.

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark.
To be kicked when you're down.
To feel like you've been pushed around.
To be on the edge of breaking down.
When no one's there to save you.
No you don't know what it's like.

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Stop Crying Your Heart Out

2011-04-18T16:46:00.004+08:00

So I am an ignorant person.Indeed I am.I have been saying a lot of weird stuff lately and I don't wanna apologize for that.I mean.What's there to be sorry about when you're just saying what's on your mind.Sometimes I think I need to suppress my emotions and thoughts.But I can't.And it's not like I am that important.If I was,I think I might be in the custody of CIA or ISA by now.

I thought of being invisible again.Haha.AGAIN?As if anyone ever notice my existence.Well,I guess some people does.I am one who doesn't know how to exist with others.That is just who I am.In class I am invisible.Nobody wants to sit with me.I am FOREVER ALONE.Well,I don't mind though.I think it might be because of the way I dress.Or do I smell bad?If the smell is the case,then screw you Paris Hilton Heiress that I have been using for three years now!Haha.Just kidding.People like my smell.Especially my hair.Some people just adore the scent of my hair.And by people I mean,ma gurls.Haaay gurl haaay~ I once caught my friends,Dina and Pit sniffing on my head because they said my hair smells good.HAHA!Indeed it does.Because I have a habit of smelling my hair.So I need it to smell good all the time.I wonder if Azmie likes the smell of my hair.HAHA.I'll ask him later.Now where was I?Oh ya.I don't think its because of my smell.I don't smell bad do I?I bet people will start to sniff on me after they read this post.HAHA.Please don't!Maybe its because of the way I dress.Or maybe people just hate me.I don't know.I am not even on the same batch as them.HAHA.

I may look okay going to school with the juniors.But the truth is,I am NOT OKAY.At all.When I see my friends who were on the same batch as I was,honestly,it hurts.I am still in my second year.And there they are learning cool stuff like Pathology.Every time I see them,deep down inside,my heart is screaming "I AM SUPPOSED TO BE WITH THEM!".God,it hurts so so bad.Thinking that they only have 3 more years here,and I have four.And it sucks.SUCKS I tell you.Yeah,people say to me "Kau mengulang sebab kau sakit.Okay lah".No damn it!It's NOT OKAY.I may act okay.But I am not.I think Ezat is trying to make me feel happy sometimes by asking me about the stuff she's studying.Which I honestly don't know.But it made me feel good a little.But still,I am one year behind them.I have four papers.If I were to screw even one,I am so dead.I swear to God I'll quit medic school and work in KFC or Pizza Hut Keningau.Oh yeah,by the way.We have Pizza Hut in Keningau!HAHA.We're catching up on you Tawau.Better watch your back.HAHA.Now now.Don't go all Oprah or Dr Phil on me okay.Save your saliva for advices.I am broken inside.Really bad.I know.This is my fate.God knows how this thing works.But I don't know.For a mere human being like me,with a faith so fragile as a tuile,all I can ever do is drown myself in regrets.You may say I am a loser.I didn't even took the final exam last year and here I am complaining about how miserable I am.Sure.I am a loser.So what?It's my life.I wanna dwell on sadness all the time.It's my life.And it's not okay.For whatever reason it may be to repeat the whole year all over again,it's not okay.I am not okay.I miss going to school with my friends.I miss eating together.I miss that.Well.Whatever.

It has been a crazy week for me.On the outside,I am okay.But you don't know what's crumbling on the inside.HAHA.I think my heart is way below in my peritoneum right now.Congested.HAHAHA.I don't make any sense.I blame the weather.It's freaking hot.Seriously.Yesterday,I left my bread with tuna on my table and went to school.When I got back,it turned into a toast!For real bish.This ain't a joke.I took a bite and my oral cavity got cut by the crispy toast.HAHA.No seriously.It was crispy and delicious.I don't even have to use a toaster.Save time,save electricity,save the world.I am doing the world a favor you know.I am going to try that again tomorrow.Today,I skipped class.Because I don't feel like going.I feel so fucked up.So tomorrow,my class is only half day.When I come home,I'd expect a toast on my table again.HEHEHEHEHEHE.Thank you for the extreme heat God.But I'm dying of dehydration though.Could You please turn it down a little?Thank You.Appreciate that!

I have a thing called OCD.And so,I am really annoyed by people who spelled English words in a Malay spelling.I think those people are jerks.If you wanna use other people's language,make sure you do it right.At least spell it right.I don't wanna get started with grammatical errors because that's not my major.(And right this moment,I wish it was).Freaking stupid as a caterpillar.Spell it right jerks!And I also happens to be annoyed by people who used "Ngee" or "Tehee" and the end of every single sentence.How stupid could you be?God.Stupid people.Are you guys retarded or something?Trying to be cute?Pfft!Cute your neighbor's ass.Cute things about a person comes naturally.Trying to be cute always ends up bad.Makes you people look like retards or worse,tramps.Just saying.Tehee~ Ngee~ See how annoying that is?Motherfuckers.

I am so pissed yesterday after I heard my mum's story about my lil tot.I told you before Ayie was going to be in kindergarten right?Well,its not a kindergarten actually.Its a nursery.Those two are alike I guess.I couldn't even tell them apart.Anyways,my mum told me yesterday that after the second day,Ayie refused to go.He even cried.So they didn't send him there anymore.Mum told me,they didn't give Ayie any water when he asked for it.He came home parched and drank two glasses of water in one go for two days straight.Ayie is a kid who loves to drink.Whenever he feels uncomfortable,he will ask for a drink.He loves to drink water.How many kids do you know who loves to drink water?And when it comes to taking a bath.Ayie usually don't hate this.But I was told that they gave him a bath using cold water.Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?He's two years old for God's sake!Pfft!What kind of a nursery are they running these days?So in the end,he quit the nursery.Poor kid.I picture him among other kids.It felt weird.I felt so sad.Huhuhu.Lil brother,don't grow up just yet okay? :)

Oh,I got a great news.Strictly for Avenged Sevenfold fans only.You can skip this part if you must.I read it somewhere yesterday that the awesome Four plus One is on the set of the video "So Far Away".YES!There's going to be a music video for "So Far Away"!And Harley DeWinter from the band Un D Vided will be portraying Jimmy in that tribute video.I can't wait for it to finish.I can't wait to see that video.And download it immediately!Lucky kid you Harley!You're the second luckiest kid after Arin Ilejay to be a part of the A7X Family.Huhuhu.I am so jealous.Whenever I see pictures of Arin with the rest of the band,he looked more like a fan than a member.But I gotta hand it to him.He should be that great to be a part of an AWESOME band.SO FAR AWAY!I can't wait. :)

And on the other news.Congratulations to my beloved boyfriend!For what?Hehehehehe.For winning lah.I don't know how the game works but I am impressed.I have always been impressed by him.And congratulations sayang!Oh yeah.I asked one of his friends yesterday,"How was he?".And that friend told me,from the way he played last night,they already expected a win from him.These were his exact words ; "haha tak g tgk td.semua tido.bangun2 dia dh ilang.tapi tgk smlm,dah predict dia menang pon".And that made me ^________________________________________^v like this.I haven't told Azmie about this yet.But I know,he's a great gamer.He knows he's a great gamer.I am so proud.And I wanna watch him in a tournament someday.It's even on my bucket list.To be able to watch my man on his highest level of MACHONESS is to die for.QUIERO!

I think that's all for now.What a good way to end a very intense battle against yourself story right?End it with a happy ending. :) Bersusah-susah dahulu,bersenang-senang kemudian.Have a great day people.And please do not wish "Have a blast!" on people's birthday because suicide bombers are everywhere these days.Shit might just get real!Don't do drugs.Obey your parents.No matter what you do,remember,God is always with you.Preach!Adios amigos!

p/s : I put a lot of soul and feelings to my every post.Read it with a proper feel to it,this might be interesting.Just saying.Peace out V.

This is not a story about a girl named

2011-04-13T01:21:00.002+08:00

Counting down the days until its summer vacation and I'm on a plane going back home.Malaysia,I miss you.Sabah,I miss you even more! I called home few days back.Ayie told me that he's going to school on Monday.I almost cried.Baby brother,why do you have to grow up so fast?Macam baru ja kemarin jiejie balik dari Labuan and dukung Ayie,kasi tidur Ayie di dada.Sekarang mau pegi sekolah sudah?Aiyoo...Y U NO STAY LITTLE MY BROTHER?

And I'm here,like a stupid crap.I don't know why but I feel like a crap here.I don't crap a lot.But I feel like one.I don't like being here.It don't feel secure.Everything sucks.I wanna move out of the house but from my hot-headed point of view,moving out means losing.And I don't wanna lose.I hate losing.And those craps that I have to deal with everyday is not worth losing against.Not at all.Someday,all of you will work for me.Watch me make that come true.Hmmph!

I just got a really bad news today.I saw #thankyouedge trending on Twitter.And I'm like.What happened?And to my surprise,THE RATED R SUPERSTAR EDGE,retired from WWE and he had to surrender from his current title the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.I saw the video of him breaking down this news to the RAW fans and I swear to God I cried.I cried and cried and cried.But I guess we have to let him go.He complained that his arm was numb and he felt pain.He said it was probably due to his prior injuries.He broke his neck once.The doctor advised him to quit or he'll end up in a whilcha,I mean wheelchair.(Thas way english education is important.LOL Usop.) So I cried until the end of that video.We love you Edge.Ain't gonna see you spear somebody anymore.I hope he's going to be fine.I think I know whatse dealing with.I'll refer to my books later.

Speaking of medical books,I heard from someone who heard from someone who knew someone that my friend is going to have his leg amputated.Or already had his leg amputated.I don't know.That friend of mine was here in Egypt with us on the first year but he had to go back because he had a tumor on his leg.Long story short.He had to go back and forth from KK to Sarawak to have his treatment.I feel sorry for him.He was like our big brother back then.I just hope he'll be okay.Get well soon Lucky.

Nothing to talk about my classes.Everything is okay on that side of my life.I guess.Well at least for now.Oh ya.I volunteered myself to participate in our campus International Day celebration.I don't have even the slightest clue on how this day work.LOL.Its my first time ever to take part in our campus activity.The Student Council had organized some activities for us foreigner students in the past but nobody participated.It was forbidden.I don't even know why.But this time,as per usual,nobody gives a damn about it so I volunteered to help out.Hahaha.I hope it'll worth it.I am not the kind of person to participate in such things.But once I do,I give all out.I give my best.Hahaha.We'll see how it goes.

Okay that's all.I'm getting bored by my own stories.I should participate in something more radical and life-threatening.LOL.Maybe I'll join the protest.Hahaha.Just kidding.Till then.KTHANXBAI.

p/s : I miss home.I miss Azmie.I miss my friends.

Nini Evo Vaizura Sazali once said...

2011-04-12T05:13:00.001+08:00

I am a Malaysian by papers and land,but a Sabahan all through my veins.™

“

—

Unholy Confession.

p/s : Happy birthday Sarah Farhana ♥ ^___^v

Day 24 - A letter to your parents

2011-04-11T03:26:00.001+08:00

Dear Mom & Dad,

I love you guys so much.Thank you for being the most supportive parents in the world.I am sorry for being such a jerk sometimes.For being selfish and hot headed.For wanting the impossible.But you guys gave me everything I wanted.And I feel bad about it.I do.Because I haven't done anything to make you guys proud of me.Just yet.I promise,one day,I will make you guys proud of who I am.I promise.

Love,

Your idiotic,stubborn daughter.

Day 23 - Something you crave for a lot

2011-04-08T06:39:00.006+08:00

Tight hugs,

Kisses on the forehead,

And you. :)

I haven't figured out the meaning of this song.
But I feel sad listening to it as if I understood every word.
But it's a very beautiful sad song.
And it has got nothing to do with the 23rd question.
I just feel like putting it here.

Happy Anniversary Azmie Nini

2011-04-02T00:21:00.001+08:00

5 years and still going strong as ever!

Please.

Do pray for us to be together until the day we die.

Because as I've said,

I love Azmie and I wanna be with him. :)

Thank you for spending the entire day with me Azmie.

Although we never really celebrate our anniversaries together.

Face to face.

Someday we will.

And we will celebrate it together every year,every April 1st.

Thank you for singing to me.

Thank you for being my bestfriend.

Thank you for putting up with my flaws.

Thank you for being one of my best supporters.

I love you Azmie.

You're the best!

And you're mine!

Hehehehehe

I LOVE YOU MUHAMMAD AZMIE J ANDAI.

FOREVER AND FOR ALWAYS.

Love,

NINI EVO VAIZURA SAZALI.

INNUENDO.

2011-04-02T00:12:00.001+08:00

While the sun hangs in the sky and the desert has sand
While the waves crash in the sea and meet the land
While there's a wind and the stars and the rainbow
'Till the mountains crumble into the plain

Yes we'll keep on trying
Tread that fine line

We'll keep on tryin

Just passing our time

While we live according to race, colour or creed
While we rule by blind madness and pure greed
Our lives dictated by tradition, superstition, false religion
Through the eons, and on and on

Oh yes we'll keep on tryin'
We'll tread that fine line
Oh oh we'll keep on tryin'
'Till the end of time
'Till the end of time

Through the sorrow all through our splendor
Don't take offense at my innuendo

You can be anything you want to be
Just turn yourself into anything you think that you could ever be
Be free with your tempo be free be free
Surrender your ego be free be free to yourself

If there's a God or any kind of justice under the sky
If there's a point if there's a reason to live or die
If there's an answer to the questions we feel bound to ask
Show yourself

Destroy our fears

Release your mask

Yes we'll keep on trying
Hey tread that fine line
Yeah we'll keep on smiling yeah
And whatever will be will be
We'll keep on trying
We'll just keep on trying
'Till the end of time
'Till the end of time
'Till the end of time

Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else?

2011-04-01T21:57:00.000+08:00

I don't know.I can't tell you that myself because everyone's going to say the exact same thing about themselves.That they have different opinions on some things.That they like different things in this world.But whatever that 'difference' is,there will be someone out there who picked the same thing as we do.So that could only mean,we are no different from anyone.We can never be different than everyone.Pfft!It's a hard life.

The Last Goodbye

2011-03-21T14:36:00.000+08:00

For the people who can't access Youtube.

Bohemian Rhapsody.

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality

Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.

Because I'm easy come, easy go, Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me...

Mama I just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away

Mama, ooh, Didn't mean to make you cry,
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time
Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

Mama, ooh, I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me
(Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo figaro

Magnifico I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family,

Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let me go) Will not let you go
(Let me go) Will not let you go (Let me go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama mia, let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here

Nothing really matters, Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me
Any way the wind blows

Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy

2011-03-21T14:26:00.000+08:00

Thank you Charo for this! :)

Someday...;)

Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

2011-03-21T14:13:00.000+08:00

MUHAMMAD AZMIE J ANDAI.

Day 19 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them?

2011-03-21T14:09:00.000+08:00

1. Shinnizzle.

I started with this nickname when I was in primary school.I was eleven years old and I am a huge fan of Linkin Park especially Mike Shinoda,the rapper/guitarist/pianist/singer/composer of the band.The band had a great reputation.All graduated with degrees,well except for Chester though.My point is,they were my idol.I wanna be in a band,and graduate with degree back then.So Shinizzle was Mike's nickname.I used Niea Shinoda at first but it was kinda cheesy because back then,everyone had Shinoda as their last name.So I changed to Shinizzle but with an extra 'N'.Shinnizzle.This was the name I was known to back in Friendster years.I like it when people call me Shinnizzle.My Friendster friends called me Shin.I loved that name.So please,call me Shin. ;)

2. Sus.

Hahaha.This name.Only few people in this world called me by this name.My bestfriend Charo started this back in high school.Form Five.She called me Sus I called her Jez.It was our boyfriend's name respectively.And I met one of Charo's friend,he called me Sus too because he thought my name was Susniaty.LOL Alang.But don't get me wrong.I like being called Sus.I feel really close to my Azmie.Hehe.But I restrict this name only to be called by Charo and Alang for now.

3. Evo.

Evo is my middle name.Yes.My name is Nini Evo Vaizura.Please pronounce it as ee-voe or ivo.Not aevo.LOL.Evo people.Get it right.And hell yeah I love this name to death.Please.Call me Evo.For some reason,I feel like I'm a cool person for having this name.Hahaha.

4. Tini.

Is my name at home.All my siblings and family members know me as Tini.I don't know what's the story behind this name.But my name is Tini.For family members only.

5. Vaizura Azmie.

I have been using this name for a while now.Its my name on the internet.Facebook,Twitter,Blogger,Formspring and Tumblr.And also for blog shopping.I go by this nickname.Its my third name and my boyfriend's name together.And it sounds so sweet. ^___________^v

But for most of people I know,they call me Nini.Nini is not a nickname by the way.Its my real name.I remember back in primary school,I transferred to a new school and we had a test.The teacher told me to write my real name on my paper.Not my nickname.I was like...What?That's my real name teacher.Well,I wrote only "Nini Evo" on my paper.Hahaha.She thought it was a nickname.I never really acknowledge my "Vaizura" name back then.But I love it now.Hehehe :)

Day 18 - Plans/dreams/goals you have

2011-03-21T13:51:00.001+08:00

1. Graduate by the age of 25 and work as a doctor at my hometown,or wherever I am posted to,or Azmie's hometown.Hehe ;)

2. Send my parents on a luxury vacation to Dubai or Monte Carlo or Ireland. ;)

3. To be able to play the guitar well like my idol,Synyster Gates and John Christopher Depp II.

4. Sing on my wedding.

5. Road trip around Sabah with Azmie. :)

6. To own a Harley Davidson. :D

p/s : Down laugh at my dreams because someday they will laugh back at you.So instead,please pray for me.Thank you. :)

Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

2011-03-20T02:34:00.000+08:00

Azmie.

I simply wanna know what are the things that makes him happy and what a cool person like him,who could make me fall into pieces,do on a daily basis.

Day 16 - Another picture of yourself

2011-03-20T02:28:00.000+08:00

Old stuff.

Day 15 - Put your Music Player on shuffle : First 20 songs that play

2011-03-19T00:41:00.000+08:00

1. THE FIGHT - Avenged Sevenfold.

2. AMIGO - SHINee.

3. BOOMBOX - The Lonely Island featuring Julian Casablancas.

4. HEY SOUL SISTER - Train.

5. BAD ROMANCE - Glee.

6. IT'S MY LIFE/CONFESSION - Glee.

7. AFTERLIFE - Avenged Sevenfold.

8. SHUT UP - U-KISS.

9. AGAIN AGAIN - 2PM.

10. CRITICAL ACCLAIM - Avenged Sevenfold.

11. WELCOME TO THE FAMILY - Avenged Sevenfold.

12. NIGHTMARE - Avenged Sevenfold.

13. LUCIFER - SHINee.

14. I'LL BACK OFF SO YOU CAN LIVE BETTER - GNA featuring Junhyung.

15. CHOCOLATE LOVE - Girls Generation.

16. ON THE FLOOR - Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull.

17. DON'T STOP BELIEVING - Glee.

18. FICTION - Avenged Sevenfold.

19. BORN THIS WAY - Lady Gaga.

20. BAIK-BAIK SAYANG - Wali Band.(The only Malay song on my playlist.)

Day 14 - A picture of you and your family

2011-03-19T00:27:00.000+08:00

From Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2010.

(From right : Abang,Kikim,me holding Ayie,Cencen & Kak Ab.Abah,nenek lelaki,Jelson & Qisty)

Masih Ada Waktu.

2011-03-18T12:22:00.001+08:00

Bila masih mungkin kita menorehkan bakti?
Atas nama jiwa dan hati tulus ikhlas.

Mumpung masih ada kesempatan buat kita.
Mengumpulkan bekal perjalanan abadi.

Kita pasti ingat tragedi yang memilukan.
Kenapa harus mereka yang terpilih menghadap?

Tentu ada hikmah yang harus kita petik.
Atas nama jiwa mari heningkan cipta.

Kita mesti bersyukur bahwa kita masih diberi waktu.
Entah sampai kapan tak ada yang bakal dapat menghitung.
Hanya atas kasihNya hanya atas kehendakNya.
Kita masih bertemu matahari kepada rumpun di lalang,kepada bintang gemintang.

Kita dapat mencoba meminjam catatannya.

Sampai kapankah gerangan waktu yang masih tersisa?
Semuanya menggeleng.

Semuanya terdiam.
Semuanya menjawab tak mengerti.
Yang terbaik hanyalah segeralah bersujud.
Mumpung kita masih diberi waktu.

p/s : mumpung = selagi.

Annoying Things Are Annoying

2011-03-17T02:05:00.001+08:00

WARNING : THIS POST IS OFFENSIVE AND I AIN'T APOLOGIZIN FO IT.PEACE OUT.

Have you ever been to any motivational programs,BTN or orientation week? Of course you do.Well,some of us do. But here's the thing. All three of this things and some other programs have one thing in common. Could you guess what it is? No.Not the sambung-sambung bendera thingy. Not that. I'm talking about that one particular slot where they play a video of students hugging their parents,crying and stuff,and then the pengerusi majlis will narrate the whole thing. Saying things like "Wahai anak-anak,ingatkah kamu kepada pengorbanan ayah dan ibumu?" and what not. Well,the thing is. I HATE THIS CRAP!There I said it. I mean come on. What the fuck? Why do we need this bull? Its annoying to see people judging each other after the slot ends. Not judging ayy? Those who cried,"Aww,dia sayang gila sama ibu bapa dia". So for those who didn't? That makes them the bad guy? They don't love their parents as much as the one's who cried?Is that it?Again.What a bull! I think that slot is teaching people how to be a hypocrite more than to give them a lesson. You're lying if you're in that room,not having thoughts like "Kalau aku nda nangis ni,nanti dorang cakap aku nda sayang parents aku." or worse,"Ee..Nanti si anu nampak aku nda nangis.Nanti dia pikir aku anak derhaka." How hypocrite is that.We're old enough to know if we have wronged our parents in some ways or another. I think I'm pretty satisfied with the fact that my parents tells me that they are proud of me every now and then.No matter what. What made me hate that crap more is because that's the only time when you stop to think about your parents. Yeah,you are a shitty kid and shouldn't be born in the first place.That's for starters.And it gets worse. If you really love you parents,you don't need that kind of shit to remind yourself. They will always be on your mind day and night. Do you think of your parents while you gossip? Do you think of your parents when you're lost chatting,texting,calling or what not with your friends? So you need to allocate a special day in your life,a special slot,for you to think about your parents and their sacrifices? Well that's bogus.Even for you ustazah. Pfft! It makes me sick. Yes I am questioning the sincerity of your actions. I do. Sometimes I just wanna get up,slap some bitches on the face and say "Cry me a river,bish". Hypocrites.

Oh yeah I have so many offensive things to say tonight.

I am a woman.Once a month I bleed my unwounded self. That's the way God made us. But everytime that time of the month comes, I turn into a huge dick. FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING. On that one particular week. That one week that separates me from man.I become a dick. Yes. You better stay away as far as you could during that time of the month from me because everything ticks me off. And my anger is the size of an elephant.I have done so many things I regret during this special time. I should learn to control my dick, I mean, temper and emotion more. I am not saying that having a dick is bad.But you guys are smart enough.Go figure.Hmmph!Breathe in breathe out.

Oya,satu lagi yang bikin panas ni.Why in the name of Lord are some people still accuse of being a Jew.I thought I made it clear before.Don't you go "Okay Jew" on me.Uh-uh.I'm ma cut chu bish! That jew word is so irritating, I think I'm going to file a restraining order against it. Pfft!What is wrong with using 'sahaja' or 'ja' or 'je'.Why does it have to be Jew?Why?Why?Why?And most of the people who used this word are Muslims.Uuu...What a surprise.Pfft!Why not use hebrew instead?Pfft!

Another thing that ticks me off are the people who was involved in the Ops Pyramid.Well, not exactly all of them.But some. You know,when the riot started back in January, they made a group on Facebook called sekian sekian sekian. One of my friend added me into the group. I am not exactly the kind of person who would join any groups involving my life as a student in Egypt.Why? Long story. Read my blog posts and you'll understand. All of it.But this time around,I was like,mehh what the heck. Its for a good cause and informative. Sadly,it turns out just as I thought it would be. That page was supposed to be a place to post information regarding the condition in Egypt. But some motherfuckers used that page to, none other than, show off how superior they are in the sight of God. Complaining and comparing. I was like oh my God. Mestikah? Mestikah pegi mengutuk orang? Damn it.Annoying. And then there's these people yang samangat tomod balik awal sana even before government issued kebenaran untuk pulang sana. You think you're a bad ass huh?Mau show off anti-government sangat lah tu sebab malu hari tu last-last nangis minta government bawa pulang. Dasar kacang lupakan kulit.Pfft! And one more thing.Balik sana then spread itu ini dengan orang di Malaysia. So low people.What the fuck is wrong with yer heads? Paksa-paksa orang balik sana cepat.Kenapa bos?Gersang kau saturang sana? Pfft!Cakap kelas itu lah ini lah. Selfish.Kasi pressure orang yang sini.Jealous lah tu sebab balik awal.Pfft!So in the end,I left the group.Because of you motherfuckers.Pfft!

And one last thing. Man I hate LAST MINUTE things. Its like,for example, people telling you that your cat died just a moment before they bury it. Or in the last minute, Mathias Boe and Carsten Mogensen win against Koo Kien Keat & Tan Boon Heong.IT SUCKS AS HELL! I don't really like the saying "Better late than never".Time is money bish.You can't feel it,you can't taste it,but when its gone,its gone. You know.Its like telling a guy in the morning before he ties the knot that he's going to be sent to Iraq. How screwed is that? That's what I felt when dealing with last minute things.They sucked. And I thought grown up should have known better.You complain that your job is hard.Ingat senang ka mau urus. Damn. You chose that job so no matter how hard its going to be, you should just stick to it. Do it properly. Man up and don't complain like a sissy.Pfft!

Well...That's it.Bye.

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

2011-03-17T00:54:00.001+08:00

Okay. This is it. I am coming out now.All out with my feelings. I've been keeping all of this for years now. It was hard all these years because I can't put my anger into words and my frustrations into sentences. I just hope that when this is over, this post is over, you would understand the pain I've been going through. I don't know how to tell you. So this is my confession.

I hate you.I hate your guts. I don't want you to be lingering around my room,let alone my life. I don't want to breathe the same air as you do. I have been in so much pain because of you for a year. I lost one year of my college life because of you. You freaking Sasquatch! Hearing your voice makes me vomit blood. Seeing your face makes my stomach sick. I hate the fact that you're back in my life. I hate you. You brought me nothing but pain. Everything I do is wrong to you. You're always telling me what to do. You're a stranger. I hate you. Stop yelling at me! In front of my freaking door. Its driving me insane. Didn't you notice I slammed the door whenever you're near my room?Yes.I did it on purpose because I hate you. You have been hurting me since I move into your room. I am so sick of you and your comrades. You call yourself "Muslimah Sejati". Well fuck of and fuck them too. I hope you die and rot in hell for the things you've done to me.

Yours Trully.

Day 12 - How you found out about Blogger and why you made one?

2011-03-16T02:27:00.001+08:00

I found out about blogger from exploring the internet.But not through internet explorer.LOL.Wow...That was yet again,lame.Ahem...Some of my friends are active bloggers.I keep up with their blogs.And I find it interesting.So here I am.The end.

I'd love to stay and rant all night long. But I'm kinda tired and sleepy right now. I'll write again soon. So...Adios!

p/s : Lo siento mis amigos.Te lo prometo.Estaré de vuelta mañana.Tener un buen día.

Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends

2011-03-16T02:08:00.002+08:00

This is not exactly a picture of me and my friends.

But our names are there.

So.

Technically.

This is a picture of me (NINI EVO VAIZURA)

and my friends (BENAZIR,SYAHMI,VALENTINO & JIMMY).

and CHARO.

Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.

2011-03-16T01:58:00.002+08:00

I'm a person who categorize my playlist according to my feelings.

My happy songs.

1. Kpop songs.

My sad songs.

1. What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flats.

2. Sorry - Buckcherry.

3. Seize The Day - Avenged Sevenfold.

4. It's You - Super Junior.

My bored songs.

1. Are You Lonesome Tonight - Elvis Presly.To put me into sleep.Haha

My hyped songs.

1. Super Junior's Sorry Sorry & Bonamana.

2. Beast's Shock.

3. Brown Eyed Girls' Abracadabra.

4. SNSD's Gee.

My mad songs.

1. Avenged Sevenfolds.

2. Linkin Park.

3. My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge album.

4. SNSD Run Devil Run.

Day 9 - Something you’re proud of in the past few days

2011-03-15T20:55:00.001+08:00

Hmm...I don't have anything to be proud of for the past few days.At first I thought I had.I started to wake up early.LOL.But it didn't continue after the 3rd day.Blame the All England Badminton Championship.HOHO.Hmm..Maybe...Just maybe.I finally learned how to play one of my favorite song.Yup...And my brother,let me bring his guitar to Egypt!Yeayyy!So I can distract myself from horrible housemates and annoying people there.I guess.I hope it works.4 more months and I'm outta that place again.Nini,please be strong!

Day 8 - Short term goals for this month and why

2011-03-15T20:47:00.000+08:00

Lose weight! - Why?Because I'm fat.I have these muffin top.It disgust me.I'm short so I must stay thin! I don't wanna be short and fat.I will look like an Oompa-Loompa.LOL
Dye my hair blond.
Staying strong and alive. - This.I am going back to Egypt next fucking week.So I need to survive at least four months there before the summer break.
Not to skip classes anymore. - I hope I won't fall sick again.Refer to no 3.
Keep a distance from my horrible housemates. - Some of them are cruel.So I must stay the hell away as far as possible from them.Especially her and her.Urgh!

p/s : I made this post a lil late because I love the previous post so much.Hehe :)

Day 7 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.

2011-03-11T23:12:00.004+08:00

This was from the last time we took selca together.

In the bus on the way to KLIA for my flight to Kota Kinabalu,last January.(31st,2011)

I chose this picture because Azmie looks so adorable here! :D

By the way,do we look alike?Hehehe ;)

This someone is not just an ordinary someone.

While most of my readers/close friends/friends already know,I am going to introduce this man one more time anyway.

You know that Azmie I always mention about.

Yes,this is him.

He is more than just my boyfriend.

He is my bestfriend.

He is my soulmate.

We are partners-in-crime.

He is my everything.

And the owner of my heart.

This is Muhammad Azmie J Andai.

And yes!

I love him with all my heart and soul.

When I read the question,"A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you"

The first thing that came to my mind was Azmie!

Yes.

He had made the biggest impact in my life.Directly or indirectly.

I've been in love with this guy for more than half a decade now.

And our relationship is coming to half a decade too.

5 years and counting.

In less than a month!

Happy anniversary in advance for us. :)

I never cried because I miss a person before I met him.I don't even cry if I get homesick.

But when I miss him,I cried and cried and cried so hard until I fell sick.

Because when I miss him,nothing,I repeat,nothing can cure that.

So whenever I miss him so bad,I pray to God to make us last forever.

And God just know how to cheer me up.

He gave me Azmie.

I know this is kind of twisted.Well,as long as I understand,that'll do.

If I were to list what impact had he made to my life,the list will go on and on and on.

Forever.

There are so many beautiful things I'd like to say about him.There's just too many.

I am just so grateful that God pick me to be with him.

Being with Azmie is just so wonderful and I could never find any words to describe how I feel about him.

I love him and yes I do love him!

And I am all lovey dovey right now.Hehe >_<

We've been through rough times,happy times and we're still going strong.

I love him and I don't want anyone else in this world.

Even if you point a gun to my head,I'd still choose him.

Simply put,I'd rather die than to stop loving him.

Its not just because I wanna live with him,but its because I can't live without him.

I love him too much for too long now. :)

And I love loving him.

If I could write down "loving Azmie" as my hobby or interest,I would.

Because that is probably the only thing I'm good at.Loving Azmie.

So I guess what I've said for the past couple of minutes says it all huh?

I guess that's more than enough to answer the question for day 7.

All I'm asking from my beautiful readers,please pray for me and Azmie.

Pray so that Nini Evo Vaizura Sazali and Muhammad Azmie J Andai would be together for life,happily ever after,protected from any harm,blessed by God and to always be in love with each other until the end of time.Thank you.

Have a nice day everyone. :)

p/s : This post made me happy. :) My name is Nini and I love Azmie!

Day 6 - Favorite super hero and why

2011-03-11T01:24:00.000+08:00

I am way behind schedule due to some important task I have to attend.It's supposed to be my 11th day already.So what am I going to do?Nothing.Just play by the rule and continue.I promise myself,I will make a good effort to finish this survey before they could drag me back to hell.Literally.

So...My favorite superhero ayy?Come to think of it,I think I don't have any favorite superheroes.Hmm...What is a superhero actually?Are those good people who fight crimes in comics?I don't know.from my point of view,super heroes are the good people who do good things in the story.So I am just going to go with my guts here.My favorite super heroes has to be the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

At first I wanna go with Ash Ketchum of Pokemon but he is not a real hero.He just pick up some pokemon and train them.His only arch enemy are the Team Rocket.So not cool.And then I wanna go with Shanks of One Piece.But then again,he's a pirate.No argue in that.So I guess these four green blindfolds wearing turtles fits the requirement.I don't know why I really like them.Perhaps because of their names.Leonardo,Donatello,Michelangelo and Raphael.Cool huh?That's the main reason why I like them.

That's all.

Day 5 - A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.

2011-03-11T01:08:00.001+08:00

Note : This photo is courtesy of the official YAB Datuk Musa Aman Facebook page here.

So...This is me this today.

Trolling at the Sabah Chief Minister's home at Sri Gaya.

I attended the Majlis Perjumpaan Bersama Pelajar Sabah Mesir.

LOL.I made it to the Facebook page of Sabah's Chief Minister.

How cool is that?

Next,conquer the world.

For a small town girl,that's pretty huge.

And I shall say the day went better than I expected.

Although I did encountered some awkward moments.

Still,being there was worth it.

So its been like over a month I haven't been out of the house.
I haven't seen any of my friends.
We gathered at Wisma MUIS.
I was the last one to arrive.
LOL.
My formal attire was admired by some and envied by many.LOL WTF ustazah!
Most of the attention went to my 3 inch booties.Me lovin it!
Told you I was a sucker for heels.
I saw some familiar most hated faces but I ignored them.
Roll your eyeballs ustazah,IDGAF!
I hate you too,thank you.
Mind if I share your name here?LOL
No thanks,it'll only ruin my precious blog.
So we went to the Kediaman Rasmi,I don't know about 9 o'clock maybe.
With a chartered bus.
My make up was wearing out.
Yes,I did put on a little some some.LOL
We arrived and took some pictures before having our seat.
We kinda got the best seat in the house.
We took the one in the middle.
Near the fan because the event was outdoor and KK is freaking hot.
And it was on a ground.Not a cemented ground.But a real lawn.
So my 3 inch kept poking the earth.
I couldn't care less.I was tip-toeing the whole time.
You wanna look pretty,deal with the consequences.
But before the event started,the people in charge came up to our table and asked.
"Siapa mau duduk dekat wakil rakyat?"
And I was like "Saya!" and raised my hand.Hehehe.
Bila lagi kan?
So...Malas lah mau type English.
Saya campur-campur aa.
So kami pun kena kasi pindah tempat.
My first seat was supposed to be beside the BKNS director or something.
I couldn't read the cards on the table properly.
But Inn switched places with me so I ended up sitting beside the BTN Sabah director Datuk Haji Ibrahim Saad.
The first time I saw him,I was like "Mana bha saya pernah jumpa uncle ni?" dalam hati.
And he was busy with his laptop,Blackberry and a Buku 555 the whole time.
He even hid his name card on the table.
So I didn't know who he was at first.
I sat next to Dina and Itt too.
It was awkward because there were 3 other guys across sitting across us and I have no idea who they were.
Well,at least two of them.
I've never seen them my entire Egypt life.
The other one was our 5th year senior.
All of us on the table were Medical student.Haha.
Finally,some recognition.

Long story short.
(Due to writer block and so many reasons,I had to cut this story short.)
In the end we sat at the table with my very own kampung's ADUN Liawan,Datuk Haji Sairin bin Haji Karno merangkap Pembantu Menteri Pembangunan Luar Bandar Negeri Sabah.
Datuk Haji Ibrahim bin Saad,Pengarah Biro Tatanegara Negeri Sabah.
Datuk Haji Amri Suratman,Pengarah Jabatan Hal Ehwal Agama Islam Negeri Sabah.
and Datuk Haji Hajiji Haji Noor,Menteri Kerajaan Tempatan dan Perumahan Negeri Sabah.
Big men huh?
So that's how the story goes with the picture.
The end.

Just Another Story

2011-03-05T03:25:00.004+08:00

So...Check it out yaw.I've been traveling so much these past three years.Thanks to being in Egypt and being sick,I feel like KLIA is sorta my second home now.LOL.Seriously.You haven't seen anything yet.And the best part about being in KLIA is...watching people.Yeah,I just stare at everybody like I wanna eat them so they won't come near me.And the nurses and doctors in Pusrawi Clinic are more than familiar with me.I have been a loyal patient.Hahahaha.The receptionist.She knows me well.I left my shoes there once.LOL.That was the ambulance story remember?And the best best best part about wandering around KLIA is,people would think of me as a tourist.Yup.And when people wants to engage in a conversation with me.I'd be like "What?" and "Me no Engrish".Works everytime!

Well,this is when I'm all alone at the airport.Airports can be pretty boring but if you know what to do.It'll be fun.If I'm sleepy.Because usually,the flights for Egypt is in the middle of the night.I'll go to any corner and put on my sweater and sleep at any empty benches like a hobo.Seriously.You get tired being all alone at the airport.Or I'll pretend that I'm Tom Hanks in The Terminal.LOL.Why so pathetic Nini?

Anyways.Here's my story of my journey from Cairo to Malaysia.This happened over a month ago.I know.Molded bread story right?LOL.God.That was lame.What I meant was,a last season story right.Well.I'm ma drop the bomb anyways.LOL.Me and my other three musketeers,we took the Gulf Air plane back home for winter holidays.Our flight was supposed to transit in Manama,Bahrain for 8 hours.So we packed up real good.Food and stuff.Because Bahrain's currency is higher than ours.So you know.I am not a rich kid.Them rich kids walked around with Starbucks on one hand,Chilli's on another and I'm like,yeah whatever.LOL.So the Cairo International Airport Terminal 3 was packed with people.We almost didn't make it.Through the traffic and among other stuff.The first thing that went through my mind was "Where on Earth are these people going?Is everybody going on a holiday all at once?".Little that I know there was this huge riot coming up the next day.So I was pissed off because too many people at the airport.And the lady at the check-in desk had gone all 'talk to my hand' mode.I'm like what?I was pissed because I wanted to unwrapped the hijab off my head so bad.My hair was all over my face and they nasty.They kept poking my eye balls.I was pissed and I'm like damn it.Just let us pass through so I could get this thing off my head.And people were staring at me like I'm some kinda alien.Well,I did looked like one.Really.So long story short.We made it into the plane.Me & Dina got the last seat at the back of the plane.Near the toilet.Yeah.FML.So the moment I took my seat,I pull my scarf and I'm so ready to go home.Hahahaha.

I watched a Tagalog movie during that 3 hour flight.And some Pinoy dude went to the back to get some drink.I swear to God from my experience of close encounter with alcohol,I know that smell.It reeks!And there's nothing I could do.Those dude was like hanging out behind my chair.I think I remembered at some point I caught them watching my movie.But I couldn't care less.The only thing that bugs me was the smell of the alcoholic beverage they were having.Urgh...So after the plane landed,I guess I was lucky to board a plane with only small numbers of Malaysians.Haha.You're supposed to be happy to came across someone from the same country as yours when you're abroad.But not in Egypt.No.Seeing other Malaysians means you're going to end up in a certain blog which practically screws people's life and judge people like they're God.Pfft!At least for people like me.So we're lucky I guess.Especially me.LOL.On our way out of the plane,Dina whispered to me "Ui Nini,tu dorang tengok-tengok kau".And I was like,damn it.They noticed.So I was like hiding,running around and tried so hard to avoid any eye contact.I asked Dina "Teda sudah ka dorang?" and she said "Ada masih di belakang tu".I turned around and I saw those Pinoy dudes.And once again,I'm like what?LOL.Turns out I misunderstood what she said.She meant to say those Pinoy dudes was checking me out.Not Malaysian people.Thank God.BUT!Those Pinoy guys didn't end there.They followed me until the immigration counter.I had to walk fast in my booties because I didn't want to get caught by them.I had an eye contact with one of them and I was scared as hell.They were creeping.For real.They might have mistaken me for being one of them.LOL.But in the end,I manage to ditch them.Yeay!

On the next flight,Bahrain to Kuala Lumpur,Dina & me got separated.We didn't sit together.I sat with a group of Iranian older ladies.It was a 7 hours flight and I was so darn tired.I slept all the way until the final hour before landing.So before you enter a foreign country,they usually give you an immigration form to fill.So the stewardess gave one to me.I fill everything in and I was like "Why do they question my purpose of staying,my nationality and how long will I be staying?".And then I thought,probably a new law.And I am a law abiding citizen. ;p The Iranian lady beside me tapped my shoulder and ask me something but in Iranian.I said I don't understand."Ana mushfahim".LOL.My Arab sucks.I know.And she kept on asking me and my guess was about the immigration card/form because she kept pointing at hers.So I said "I don't understand.Do you speak English maam?".Its like a duck and a chicken trying to have a conversation.I shook my head and said "I don't know".She turned to her friend and I turned away from her.Then she tapped my shoulder again.This time she was being specific.She pointed at my immigration card so I hand it over to her.She read it and I think she as a little shocked.She showed it to her friends and they all laughed.I didn't have any idea why.Well,at least at that moment.She hand it back to me and I checked it thoroughly and thought,nothing was wrong with it.She pointed at my nationality column and I looked at her with my 'yeah what's with it' face'.She just laughed some more.After we landed safely in this beautiful country.Oh my God.Whenever I make that first step out of the plane,I feel like kissing the floor.Touchdown in Malaysia!Its nice to see familiar faces.Malaysian faces.I waited for my friends and I said,I need to go to the ladies room first and foremost.So we went there.Everybody freshened up.Washed our faces and all.So I asked them "Ui,sudah kamu isi tu kad kah?".And they were like "Kad apa?"."Yang tadi kena bagi tu sebelum landing".I pull out my card and show it to them.They LOL-ed.You know why? "Astaga,itu untuk foreigner jak bha tu.Kenapa kau dapat?".And once again,my nationality is questioned for the millions of time.LOL.I am a Malaysian!But I am not mad yo.In fact,I am flattered by it.Hehehe.

But do you know,what is my favorite moment in KLIA?When I stepped out of that arrival hall,there's this handsome awesome adorable remarkable loving caring boyfriend of mine named Azmie standing there waiting for me.That's the best moment.Ever.Always the best. :D I get butterflies everytime.I guess that's what you call love. ;)

I MISS MY AZMIE! :)

Day 4 - A habit that you wish you didn’t have.

2011-03-05T00:00:00.001+08:00

Looking at myself in the mirror and feel disgusted.

All the time.

Because I feel fat.

All the freaking time.

Because I am fat.

And I can be very dramatic about it.

Yes,I am a part time drama queen.

Deal with it.

Day 3 - A picture of you and your friends

2011-03-03T22:49:00.006+08:00

Bermain Frisbee di bawah Sinaran Bulan & Bintang.

From right : Ami,Jimmy,Ben,yours trully,Yoe & Valen.

I love this picture.Just look at those adorable selipar jipuns.Hahaha.Lets do this again guys!

I miss ya'll. :(

Day 2 - The meaning behind your Blogspot name.

2011-03-03T00:13:00.001+08:00

First of all,my blogspot name is Unwantedhere Unwelcomed there.

I made this blog 3 years ago on November.

I was in Egypt by then.

And to be honest,Egypt sucks.

And I'm not talking about the Egyptians.

I'm talking about the Malaysians in Egypt.

Well,not all of them.Just some I'd like to say,morons.

Yeah.

I mean,who the fuck would judge you every single day?

Everything you do.Everything you say.

Yeah that sucks.

So I hate it there.

But when I'm at home.

There are days when I feel like I wanna kill myself.

So basically.

I have nowhere to go.

So when I'm in Egypt,nobody wants me there.

And at home,nobody wants me here too.Sometimes.

So that's how Unwantedhere Unwelcomedthere was born.

Actually,my initial blog name was 'All That I've Got'.
I changed it because it fits my life.
In so many ways.
And I was inspired by Avenged Sevenfold.
That's it.
The end.

30 Days Challenge Blogspot Version.

2011-03-02T01:14:00.002+08:00

DAY 1 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Note : This picture was taken about two weeks ago.We went to the bank to do something.We took this inside the car while abah went to pay the Astro bill.

I don't like being in Egypt.
I never tried drugs or alcohol but I used to smoke pot.LOL.Just kidding.I never tried any of it.
I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue.SERIOUSLY.
If there's something I wish I was good at,it has to be dancing.Not just one particular dance.All types of dance.Blame So You Think You Can Dance.
One language I wish I was good at is Hebrew.
I love playing dress up!I love mix-matching clothes and shoes.I love it for five minutes and then hate it the next.But I never wore any of my mix-matching creations,I suppose you call it,when I go out.I'm afraid they're too high fashion for my small town.Seriously speaking.My sister tried to go outta the house wearing something I thought was appropriate in fashion & trend,my mom thought she looked like a hooker.See what I mean?I got my inspiration from Jeremy Scott & Betsey Johnson. ;)
I love AZMIE J ANDAI!
I love dried mango.
I never had breakfast in bed.Hospital beds doesn't count!
I love flowers,especially lily but I never got any flowers from anyone. :( Well,once in high school but that doesn't count because it wasn't intended for me.A certain someone gave a certain someone flower through dedications and stuff during a certain event,yeah we had those back in high school.But that certain receiver won't take the rose because the receiver was upset with the sender.So the certain receiver gave it to me instead.So that doesn't really count as giving me flower.
I love surprises.
"Fuck" is my favorite swear word but I don't have enough middle finger to point at each and everyone whom I think deserves it.
Although my English sucks compared to my certain friends.Yeah you know who you guys are.I prefer writing in English than any other languages.Except for Hebrew.Once I know how.LOL
I am not influenced.I am the influence.
I can read minds.Yeah...I know what you're thinking right now.You think I'm crazy.No.You just did.Yeah...I can read minds,facial expressions,body languages,tone of voice etc etc very well. ;) Thank you God for my OCD.